November 10th, 1869
Something bad is coming, I can sense it...
I can't quite describe the feeling, but it's as though every single cell in my body, every molecule is screaming DANGER at me. I feel so on edge, so jittery. I've lost all appetite and can hardly sleep at night. I have no idea what's wrong with me.
Father hasn't noticed the changes, he's too preoccupied with his business. Let him be. I do not want his concern, it will only distract him. I do not like a fuss being made over me.
I have not seen either Lucas or Maverick since that day in John Maccoy's garden. But I keep dreaming. Vivid, realistic nightmares that leave me breathless and shaken. They are in each one.
Oh I certainly hope this feeling passes.