Christmas Tree Gets Lit On FireMature

The Daily Platypus

Arsonist, Florida

Dec. 8, 2009

Early this morning, Marcus Flannegar's Christmas tree was lit on fire. Nobody knows the reason why, although Christian Suess was asked, and he said it was the work of The Grinch. Scientists have claimed that the Grinch cannot exist because of two things:

  1. Nobody's heart can grow.
  2. People can't grow green hair

This statement, however, has effectively distracted us from the Christmas menorah.

By: Religo Iouso

The End

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