Bob Jones, a normal bloke really experiences something...well...quite weird. He can read people's minds, not in the psychic sort of way, but he can read their minds by simply looking into their eyes. What will he get up to with this new found power?
Ever had one of those days? You know the sort! It's when everything seems to go wrong and you can't do nothing about it. I had one of those and believe me, it was weird!
Peace at last. No dogs barking, no kids shouting and no couple next-door having sex rather loudly. I could finally relax and drift into a deep sleep...BEEP BEEP BEEP. Oh come on! Red lettering flashed onto my face and a constant beeping sound echoed around the room. "Hello and welcome to BBC Radio Lancashire and with your breakfast show today it's..." the speech surrounded the room. I will rue the day when I bought a radio alarm clock!
Right! The last resort! The snooze button. I don't understand why alarm clock manufacturers decided to add this extra option, unless they are owned by the Devil and he's trying to tempt you into spending your afterlife in Hell for eternity. I press the button, I've never been too much of a good Catholic anyway. It's like at baptisms when the priest asks "Do you denounce Satan and all his works?", I turn round and say, "Why? Is he here?!"
Where were I? Oh yes the dream about Morecambe winning the FA Cup. BEEP BEEP BEEP. I knew that alarm clock would come back and haunt me! I reach over to the bed-side cabinet i.e. a table from the car-boot sale and suddenly slip.
Everyone has experienced that feeling were they know they're going to have an accident but they can't do anything about it. It's when the world suddenly changes to slow motion but the inevitable happens. That was happening right now. I lost my grip and my hand slid down the well-polished service. One word crossed my mind: "Bollocks!"; it was the only word suitable at the time. My head crashed down and gravity was taking it's toll, my forehead hit the corner of the table and everything went dark.