He was back. He was with me and holding me. This was a small slice of happiness thrown into the middle of my misery. Gently, I moved away from him. I saw hurt in his eyes but I shook my head.
"Let me explain," I whispered. He nodded. I thought about how to word it. Then I asked him, "Why do you think I'm not a monster?"
"Because you're a kind person, even for a Pixie," he answered instantly, "You've always been gentle and kind and never wanted to hurt anyone."
"Oh, haven't I?" I muttered. He looked confused. I smiled darkly at him, "Let me tell you why you're wrong. First, how much of that day with the Soul Feeder do you remember?"
"Not much," he admitted, "I vaguely recall you fighting her..." his voice trailed off when I flinched.
"No, I didn't fight her - it rather," I whispered, "I tortured it... and I enjoyed it. It was hurting you and that made me furious. Pixie's are not meant to be furious, we are not meant to torture anything, we are not meant to be sadistic. Ever since then I've had the same nightmare, everytime I close my eyes to sleep. I see myself as evil as her. Then you left me..." it was his turn to flinch but I continued, "I've never felt so cold. Are you still sure I'm not a monster?" He intently examined my face.
"I'm sure. That... thing was more evil than anything. What you did may have been cruel but nothing is more cruel than it was. I should never have taken you," he muttered, shame in his face. I wrapped my arms back around him.
"In a way, I'm glad you did. If you hadn't I'd never have discovered my powers," I murmured into his chest. We stayed like that for a while.
"Are you going to stay this time?" I asked quietly.
"Of course, Nutbrain," he teased and we laughed. I let him hold me and laughed with him.