Dearest Michelle ♥,
I hope you know what your getting yourself into. Alex seems fantastic out of a relationship doesn’t he? He’s the perfect friend if your only friends. I fell for his sweet smile, generous heart, and beautiful eyes too. But he’s a player. Always has been. He will get the "perfect" girl and then ditch her when she least expects it. He will say you are the only one, forever and always. And then he will ditch you for a prettier, or, in your case, a nicer girl. He's a low life jerk and your going to hate every second with him. All he wants to do is make out with you. That’s basically what we did every time we were together. I don’t care what he has told you, its all lies. I can promise you that he and I were the perfect couple and you and he will NEVER be the same as we were. He has had so many girls, but I know for a fact that he loved me. So he’s lying to you. Because he can't love you, he loves me. Remember when you caught us together? Yeah. That’s’ right. He was WITH me. Not me with him. It was him with me. So get over it. Everything he tells you is a lie and will always be lies. So stop dreaming, Ms. Washington State, nobody loves you.
Sincerely, Whitney ♥
There is a lot I can say right now, but I’m just astonished that Whitney actually took the time to write me a warning that appeared to be well prepared, as if she could remember every single thing he did when they were going out. And her grammar is just bad. So many sentences could be combined and she messed up all the “you’re” with “yours”. I cringed by looking over that.
But the part about kissing seems to be almost true. I can’t recall a time when I saw him and he haven’t kissed me. I can’t imagine Alex using me, only because we’re about four years now, and he never went after other girls except by force and even then he didn’t like them. He only loved me.
With slight hesitation -I don’t want to anger her or something, because she‘s known to give hell, basically- I wrote back. “Sorry, Whitney. Alex is nothing like you said. Maybe that’s what he was like three years ago when you dated him, but we’re all older now. Beside, we’ve technically been together since May. He didn’t even look at another girl when he was with me. So what you’re saying is just about the old Alex. The new Alex is with me and he won’t change no matter what you think of him. I can’t expect a better boyfriend than him. Michelle.”
I think I mentioned everything.
I considered forwarding the message to Alex for a heads up on Whitney, but decided against it. It’s my fight, not his.
Since she hasn’t responded for a while (maybe she’s stumped I went against her words), I went to bed. I’ve had a long day.
“Lullaby” is always on now. I am so very glad Alex introduced me to that song. It’s soothing and relaxing to fall asleep to. As I climbed into bed, I could feel his arms around me, his fingers entwined with mine, the spots he kissed vibrating with my quickening pulse. This song is all I need to get my heart racing.
Mikayla and I went to Purple Berri the next day at around three. We clicked our cups in cheers when the rest of my friends joined. That was on sudden impulse, Mikayla inviting them. I thought it’d be just us two, and I preferred it, because I was going to talk about Grayson. Can’t now though, since Chandler, Baylee, and Miranda are here. They’re still a little bitter from the seventh grade incident. Marisa and Ali also came, along with Haley and Terrina. A full house, basically. We pretty much filled up the place.
In some ways this kinda feels like a bridal shower, not that I’ve ever been to one or had one, but I know what they’re like based on television versions. They wished me luck and exchanged comments on Alex and me, like we’re going to get married (ironically) and deciding our future.
“Oh, what will be the kids’ names?” Miranda asked in excitement.
“Uh…” This is even harder than telling Alex. So I lied. “James and Gabriella.” I’ve always liked James, and that’s what I used to cover up my story to Grayson last August.
“Awww!” They’re just going nuts over a half true name.
Pair by pair, the girls left just me and Mikayla. Finally, I can talk to her.
“Sorry if you didn’t want them over. I could tell you were a bit taken back,” she apologized.
“It’s fine. I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” Now it’s time for business. “I think I still love Grayson,” I started.
“Of course you do. He’s your first love. That’s understandable. But don’t let that get in the way with Alex. You know how he is about him,” she warned.
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I can’t get over yesterday,”
“Do I want details?” I laughed.
“It’s not rated R, don’t worry. We won’t get into that until marriage.”
“Oh, so you are gonna get married! Where’s the ring?” She grabbed my left hand and held it up.
“No, silly. It’s just an idea. I know he wants to. We already have our whole life planned out. Did you ever see the poster he gave me?” She shook her head. “I’ll show you the next time you come to my dad’s. It’s amazing.”
“Aw,” I wish someone would just ask her out so she’s not missing out on what I have.
“Whitney sent me a message last night.”
“What did it say?”
“Negative things about Alex. Just really old information. But one thing sounded different. She predicted Alex’s using me. I know we already talked about this, but he’s always kissing me and such. I can’t help but lean toward a different opinion. What do you think?”
Mikayla paused. “I think he’s making up for lost times. It’s been almost four years, you know.” I knew.
“Hmm. Other than that, he’s perfect. Perhaps we’ll stay together longer than most people do.”
“Yeah.” She glanced at the wall. “We’ve been here for two hours, let’s go.”
So the way home was filled with stories and being ourselves. This is what best friends do. They share memories and giggle and be stupid with each other. I’ve been missing this for a long time. It’s the happiness that Alex can’t replicate. A girl needs her friends.
I had to walk the last two blocks by myself. I said bye and carried on in the hot day, replaying what has happened in the previous week.
School. Game. Fight. Make up. Said yes. Kissed. Slept. Woke up. Kissed more. Went home. Slept again. Ate frozen yogurt. Now going back home to relive the week all over again.
In geography on Monday, I was dangerously close to sleeping. I hate waking up at five.
Tuesday, I wore a dress with no worries, strangely enough. It’s awkward to wear a dress in school but I did it, which made me feel proud. Everyone loved my lavender laced frock.
Wednesday, I did sleep in geography and science. Note to self: go to bed at eight and not ten. Perhaps you’ll get some rest by nine.
We had to do a pantomime with partners on Thursday in theater. Naturally I picked Alex. His idea was that we do something couple related -of course- so he decided we’d do a wedding -of course- where he’ll have to play double and be the ring bearer who loses our ring. I’m not quite too sure how this is going to work out.
The football game on Friday caused me stress. Mikayla and I were arguing on how we’re going to get there since I was at my dad’s this time.
“I won’t have a way home,” I complained while waiting for her dad to pick her up. When she leaves I’m going to walk home.
“Because my dad’s car is freakishly tiny.”
“I’ve fit in it before!” This is so frustrating. We’re fighting over a car seat.
“That was what, a year ago? You’ve grown. Your head will hit the roof.”
“No it won’t. I’ve barely gained an inch.”
I sighed. “Then I won’t go.”
“But you have to! You said you wanted to go to all the games and I’ll only go if you go!”
“Apparently transportation isn’t available,” I said coldly.
She exhaled heavily. “My dad’s here. Text me if you change your mind.”
I hate battling her like this. It always makes me feel selfish and terrible afterward. Then I got a plan.
“Maybe you can come to my house instead,” I suggested in a text.
“The game’s on the way here. Your dad could drop you off and pick you up when he’s done. It’s not that hard to do,”
“I’ll ask.” My heart’s lifting a bit. A few minutes later, she said she could.
“Great. We can go to the field and stop by Walgreen’s or something,”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
I took a shower as soon as I got back. September weather sure is hot in Texas.
We agreed to meet in the field where there was some hay bales clumped together. I struggled to get on them, and Mikayla laughed. I bet it did look funny though.
Pictures were taken of us and the scenery. They turned out really well. Once it got a little dark, we headed to Walgreen’s with no idea of what to buy. So we figured we’d just waltz in and see what they have in store.
Rounding the corner of the candy aisle, we ran into Whitney and her posse who were pushing around a shopping cart with junk and sodas in it. Whitney glared at me and the girls had no clue what was going on. I raised my brow in question to why they’re going to stuff themselves with fattening stuff.
“We were just picking some stuff up for the boys. You know, Ryan and Dalton and Alex,” She put extra emphasis on his name. Obviously, this was a ploy to get me jealous, but I knew he wouldn’t hang out with her. Would he?
She smirked and haughtily walked off with her friends trailing behind, giggling for no reason. I pretty much screamed every expletive in my vocabulary inside my head. Here goes my jealousy.
Mikayla picked up a pint of Neapolitan ice cream and a pack of plastic spoons. At the register, I saw Whitney’s evil grin glaring at me. Once I thought she was pretty, now she’s plain ugly.
I tried to shake it off. Carrying a pint of melting ice cream while balancing on your scooter isn’t a good idea, especially in the dark. We acted basically drunk on the way home. It was hilarious, actually, and it made me forget about the Whitney thing.
Lying down on the driveway made me ease into a world where it’s just me and my best friend. Passing the cup back and forth, exchanging tales of the week, laughing, finding our future. It’s refreshing to be with her, makes me erase the anxieties of the real universe. Like I’m home, but not.
Sadly she had to go when halftime was over. Her dad only stays as long as then to watch her sister perform in color guard. I started to pile the trash together as she got up.
“Thanks for the ice cream. We should definitely do this more often,” Mikayla gratified.
“Certainly.” We hugged and she went away. I smiled to myself, proud that I had a good evening for once.
On Facebook, I saw Whitney’s current update. She tagged Alex’s name in the status saying she’s having so much fun with him and their friends. I rolled my eyes but a little spark went off inside. What if he’s really with her? I’ll go to the next game with him and make sure they’re not even close to each other.
At school on Monday, I heard on the announcements that there will be improv auditions Friday. Upon this, I got extremely excited. I’m sure I’ll make it. If I don’t then I fail at life. Being funny is my thing. I told Mikayla how she should try out with me.
“No, no. I’m not funny. Not like you,” she argued.
“Please, just try. You said you were going to join as many clubs as you can, and here’s an opportunity.”
“But I’m not funny.” And so on. It’s the same words over and over, with the same answer. I just want to be able to do something together since we don’t have any classes. So I don’t get why she’s saying no. She’s got nothing to lose.
Finally, Friday came. I put on my Nike shorts and a purple v-neck and headed to school.
Strolling to the front, I was stopped by a big lady.