So I took the opportunity.
Lets face it, I had to. Carrying on the way I was I would have ended up even more desolate and desperate and crazy than I already was.
I felt I was doomed to failure, but I gave it my best shot. I even perfected the technique of producing the Brain Choc bar at the exact second of saying the the word 'THESE'. I know it was the exact second because I practiced over and over, about ninety times a day, and timed myself with a stopwatch. I got so good at it, I reached the point that even when I heard the word 'THESE' uttered by someone else, my hand would automatically go to my pocket and I had to pretend I had an itch or something, or pretend I was getting something out of my pocket intentionally, like a handkerchief or whatever.
The spiel was less successful, or so it seemed to me at first. I stumbled and bumbled over the words like you can't imagine. You see, I was so hung up on the timing of producing the Brain Choc bar efficiently, at the right time, that I forgot to practise all the words on either side of the word 'THESE'. And,believe me, there were an awful lot of awful words, particularly at the front end. I found I was so flustered by the time I reached that crucial word that I got that bit wrong too.
I was ready to give it all up as a bad job, and look for an even badder job, when something really surprising happened.
People started buying these silly chocolate bars from me. In vast quantities. They found my ineffectual presentation skills...endearing. It could be that they felt a bit sorry for me and bought them because of that... I don't know. I wasn't complaining anyway. It made me very popular with the manufacturers, I can tell you.
When I realised what was happening, I played on it even more. Getting the words wrong on purpose, getting them in the wrong order, even working out amusing spoonerisms. That was the most difficult part, because some of them were so amusing that I had to fight to keep my face straight, and not give the game away.
Incidentally, at the same time I was putting on weight. This wasn't in any way a bad thing as I'd more or less stopped eating when I was in my slump of despair and was looking decidedly gaunt. What I discovered in the course of all this selling was that the chocolate was absolutely divine. I became quite addicted to it, always carrying a couple of bars around in my pockets ''for business purposes'' of course, I couldn't help nipping off the odd bit and popping it in my mouth. Whether it actually helped my brain power or not I couldn't say, but I suspect not. What it did help was my appearance, which boosted my confidence even more.
Anyhow, after a while, the word must have spread about this wonderful new sales rep - me, of all people. and I started to be approached by headhunters, a lot of them from other tribes. WOW! I couldn't believe it.
I was a hot property. I was a success. At last.