Stories of patients and staff in a small city hospital.
The ceiling is moving. It's one of those bumpy ceilings, with white plaster spattered evenly to look like warty growths. And it's coming towards me. Or perhaps I am moving towards the ceiling. Toward heaven.
I feel dizzy, but also light and floaty, as if the slightest wind would blow me away and scatter the wisps of my soul. The edges of my vision are blurry and dark. There is tingling and heaviness in my left arm and leg. I am on the floor, though I don't remember how I got here. It doesn't seem to matter. The floor is hard and cold beneath me, I can feel it pressing into my bones. I might have hit my head - it feels funny but it doesn't hurt. It just spins. I can feel the world spinning beneath me. Nobody ever notices how fast the world is spinning. I never noticed before.
There is a person. She enters my field of vision like a fuzzy shadow monster. Gradually, she grows brighter. Her hair is blonde and it falls near to my face as she hovers over me. She is speaking, and I hear her voice, but the words do not make sense in my mind. It is like she is speaking a language I do not know. I can't even remember her name. But when I see her, strong feelings rush in. I know I love her. She seems distressed, and I want to speak, to reassure her, but I have forgotten how.
She holds my hand, the one that feels numb and tingly. I feel so peaceful with her by my side. Am I dying? If I am, then it is okay. This does not feel bad or scary. Perhaps I am ready.
I hear a familiar sound in the background. I can't remember what it is called, but I remember the meaning. The sound is far away, and musical, the notes going up and down and up again. I have heard this sound many times. I just never thought it would be coming for me.