The ride was smooth and uneventful... as much as it could be be while traveling lightyears though known space in an upturned fishbowl, piloted by an alien who looked attractively female though she continuously insisted her sex was complicated.

Yes.  Complicated.  Uneventful and complicated.  That was my life for the time being.

For the entirety of the trip she offered me no clothing - instead choosing to instill upon me the idea of a less modest society.  In fact, half of the trip (seven hours roughly, I guess - I had no way of telling time.) was spent me learning where my new home was going to be and what I should expect once I got there.

"So... there's no currency?"

Lee nodded and I marveled at the way she seemed so human.  Just the curt bob of her head shook her hair and more round and enticing body parts.  I tried as I could to not look, but my mind kept forcing her form in my imagination.  But I digress...

"That is correct.  We have what you know as a barter system.  You give the best of the goods you do not need for the goods the other no longer has need of."  An errant gaseous nebula slid past the one window I could see past her and her form was lit up by what I assumed to be phosphorous light.

"Stunning," I muttered.

She arched an eyebrow and smiled a quizzical grin.  "I suppose that is one way to describe it.  "You strike me as interesting right now, Lionel.  Your vocal expressions show that you want to be interested in your new habitat yet your eyes and... body language show distraction."

I smiled back and felt my skin heat up in a blush I hoped the relative gloom of the room would hide.  "Just tell me this, Lee.  Tell me the other naked girls aren't as distracting as you."

"I am afraid my opinion on this subject does not include the human male perspective."  Her lips turned in a more sympathetic curve.

"I see.  You, uh, mind if I look out the window?  I think I'm missing a heck of a view."

"Of course."

I rocked off of the bed and strode across the smooth and soft floor to stare into the whole of space.  I was surprised to see a planet looming in the distance.  I felt my center of gravity shift and I suddenly became heavier.  "Um, Lee-"

"We are here."  I felt her step up behind me but the blues and greens of the globe in front us were so familiar that the prospect of a naked alien who looked incredibly hot as a human failed to stir me.

"Lee, that looks a lot like Earth."

"Of course, Lionel.  This is, after all, the same galaxy.  We are just on a different string.  That is Earth - just not as you know it."

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Author guidance for This story

Just a random bit of fiction I rustled up. It's the product of a long and boring night -- nothing more. I may end up adding on to it, later.

I marked it as a collaborative, just in case someone else wants to take hold of the reigns. Do keep in mind that it's somewhat inspired by John Norman's Gor series ( which was influenced itself by Edgar Rice Burroughs' John Carter of Mars novels.) That's the general feel I'm going for -- but probably a lot less sex.

Tidbit I: Lee Hewers is an anagram for "Elsewhere."
Tidbit II: I really need to stop saying "issued forth"...

updated Dec 27 '11 by Proffer