They grow old so fast. One minute they're fun, and helping you out and making sure you have some coin and stuff, and the next thing you know they're always after you to get a job. And make a way for yourself in this world.
That one always makes me laugh. As if Dad's twenty-year job at the post office is 'making a way for yourself in this world.' More like a waste for yourself, I'd say.
Just this morning, Mum brought me a tuna salad sandwich and started up with it again.
"Jake, dear," she said in that sun-shiny way that really gets on my nerves sometimes. "It wouldn't hurt to just look at the want ads today, would it? When you have some time?"
I didn't want to get into a big fuss, so I just said yeah, ok. That made her happy. So I didn't even mention that there wasn't enough mayo in the sandwich.
When Dad came home, he came into my room just as I was finally able to breach the laser portal and reach a new level. He brought the classified section of the paper and told me in his Serious Parent Way that he expected me to line up a job interview. Soon.
I was trying to listen to him a bit, so I lost my concentration and got zapped by the Gorgon WarMaster and lost the level just like that. That peeved me, so I picked up the darn newspaper.
What my folks don't understand is that I can do lots of things, and there aren't many jobs for people like that. I studied not only film, anthropology, sports management, and film appreciation in college, but I also took that extra course in creative writing. And I'd had so many jobs since graduating that I had a lot of different experience.
You can't just go be a mailman with all that background. That'd be lame, wouldn't it?
And look at these job openings: night watchman, bartender, custodian/janitor, telemarketer, window-washer, library assistant.
Certainly not much there for someone with a good education.
OK, so there was one that I might take: Today NewsMagazine seeks writer/reporter for general writing assignments. The successful candidate will possess above average writing skills, a good knowledge of current events, and the ability to quickly write about events in an interesting, competent manner.
The pay was pretty lousy and there was no mention of a company car or anything, but I figured it might get my parents off my back until something better came along, so I circled the ad and called down the stairs to Mum.
"I guess I like that one all right," I told her when she came in. She got all sunshiny again and said she's phone for an interview for me.
She can be nice like that.