The latest in our always impressive line of animal-based tools of espionage, the Stealth Observation Badger (previously known as the Stealth Badger for Operations of Espionage, until lawsuits from the State Board of Education and State Board of Elections stopped the use of the accompanying acronym) provides unparallelled durability and versatility.
Surely, some of you out there are thinking, "Badgers? Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!" To that we say, "Bull!" By which, of course, we mean, perhaps you might be interested in our Bull for Purposes of Espionage (or BPOE, at least until that lawsuit gets filed).
Meanwhile, for the rest of you, the Stealth Observation Badger, or SOB, fills a unique niche in the world of electronic observation. This amazingly stout creature will go blundering in just about anywhere, whether wanted, expected, or not. Programmed for singularity of purpose, no force on earth will discourage it from where it wants to go. Additional 'Verbal Instigation Mode' available with Flexijerk Logic (TM) artificial intelligence, the SOB can say just the wrong thing at any given moment, inciting marks into fits of information-spilling rage.
Warnings: Do not give the SOB your cell or home number. Do not allow the SOB to get alcohol, as this interferes with its Methane fuel cells. Though the SOB will touch you, do not touch the SOB, as it needs its personal space. Only deploy the SOB at parties you intend to shortly leave and don't want to be invited back to at any point in the future. An SOB is not a substitute for a real boyfriend.
Supplies are not nearly as limited as we might like, so we're slashing prices! Call now and talk to one of our representatives about our apparently inviting terms regarding your very own SOB!