Undead Electronic Surveillance Chicken

Stealth security has never been easier!  The Undead Electronic Surveillance Chicken (version 2.2) can track targets, break into safes, defend itself from fox attacks, and in a focus group study 9 out of 10 respondants said that only people who read Gary Larson cartoons would be suspicious of a chicken wandering around.

The Undead Electronic Surveillance Chicken was an innovation resulting from the ESC's takeover of the Bootiful Bird turkey and chicken processing facility.  ESC scientists noted that there were high rates of death amongst the battery birds and looked for ways to utilise the raw materials.  By using an embalming procedure known as plastination the basic structure of the chicken could be preserved and strengthened and then hollowed out to house advanced monitoring and surveillance equipment.

The UES Chicken is powered with a lead-shielded self-contained nuclear power pack that is guaranteed to still be producing power in 250 years time.  Its eyes house cameras that record visible light and have a selection of lenses to cater for submersion in 17 different kinds of fluid (including nitric acid, cow urine and aviation fuel).  Limited infra-red recording is also possible and causes the UES Chicken's eyes to glow a demonic red.

The titanium-alloy beak can peck at 1700ppm (pecks per minute) and can penetrate concrete, wood and tempered steel.  The feathers are razor-edged and have hollow tips that can deliver a number of useful liquids including nitric acid, blood anti-coagulation factor and napalm.  The UES Chicken is almost completely silent in operation and will cluck dutifully during any internal procedure that may produce suspicious noises.  The UES Chicken does not lay eggs, nor are there any plans for it to do so.  The UES Chicken is not considered suitable for animal husbandry, though may serve as a guard-dog and sheep-dog for robust animals.

The UES Chicken is also completely water-tight and can function in an oxygenless enviroment for up to 8 hours.

Please note that the ESC only supplies the UES Chicken as version 2.2 and that a recall notice is still active for version 2.0, where the lead-shielding was accidentally swapped out for cardboard shielding to reduce weight.  A geiger counter will rapidly establish the version number for you.

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