Electronic Surveillance Catalogue

The Electronic Surveillance Sheep (ESS) is the Electronic Surveillance Corporation's (ESC) flagship product.  It is an anatomically correct, fully autonomous electronic agent capable of carrying out sophisticated surveillance and espionage activities.

  The sheep is a full-sized Merino, available in both ram and ewe.  Its 'wool' is fibre optic cable, which the sheep is capable of laying out to access areas where its presence might be noticed.  There is a total of two cables used for the wool, each of a 25m length.

  The sheep possess two eyes, one of which records in visible light, and the other which records in ultra-violet, infra-red and X-ray.  Solid-state storage inside the sheep's skull has one terabyte of capacity, typically permitting 17 hours full spectrum recording.

  The sheep is capable of broadcasting a signal via radio and line-of-sight laser, with sufficient power available from the internal nuclear power source for the laser to cut through up to 30m of... obstacles.

  The sheep is equipped with integrity enforcement security, including rapid deployment, razor-edged seals in case of foreign objects attempting to gain access to the interior of the sheep.

  The sheep possesses a complete quantum cryptography suite and can crack most password encryption protocols in less time than it takes to say this sentence.  The sheep has no understanding whatsoever of the value of human life, and will stop at nothing to achieve the goals it has been set.

  Discounts are available if a flock or more of the sheep are ordered; all enquiries should be send to the Ovine Director at the ESC.

The End

12 comments about this story Feed