I lay with my head on my pillow, staring into the nothingness beyond the ceiling. The sobs had stoped and my tears were drying but the stinging hole still ached in my chest. I siliently admited to myself i had probably over reacted, my mum only wants what's best for me. Though to send me to a crazy school! it was ridiculous. How could my own mother now believe the lies that my teachers had been feeding to her, when before she just strugged them off.
'Mrs Reilly, Tara.. well her reading isn't what we expect of a child her age...
... Tara spends all break sitting in the trees instead of playing with the other children...... She just doesn't seem interested in learning anything, at all.... She talks to herself... She sometimes frightens other children... Jumps out at them from trees..... Talks gibberish to animals.....Mrs Reilly, please listen.... We believe there is something seriosuly wrong with your little girl.... Doctors... Therapists..... Psychologists... We caught her running, stark naked through the gardens..... You need to have something done about her!...She's not NORMAL!'
Memories flickered quickly through my mind, each vivid and burned into place by repetition. I could remember every horrified look a teacher gave me, every glare and snicker from another child. My cheeks burned with anger and embarrassment. I didn't want to be different, i didn't want to be teased. No one ever does. The problem is that i can't help who i am or how i feel. Something that is completely right to me is always weird and crazy to the rest of the world.
Mum, however was always kind. She told me to not listen, just to be myself and ignore what others said. She told me to hold my head up and one day they would understand, i would understand. Though when i did ask what it was i would understand, she just shook her head. 'now is not the time my dear. One day, perhaps, but not now'
Fresh tears burned my cheeks. I wanted to know so badly. Surely i was old enough now to understand, surely whatever it was could not be worse than feeling this empitness inside, or putting up with years of torture at school.
A soft tap at the door, my mum called my name softly and poked in her head.
'Tara, my dear child. I'm so sorry. I'm not going to send you away to a crazy school, you're not crazy dear'
She sat and held my hands in hers.I looked into her beautiful blue eyes, i was always jealous of my sister for inheriting my mothers eyes. They were big and sparkled with life. Mine, a simple dull green, like moss.
'Tara, please listen to me. There are things you don't understand about this world and you are still far to young to know. In time you will learn, but only if you want to of course. Your sister... she.. well doesn't seem like she will be interested. But you my dear can learn things beyond your wildest dreams. Just come downstairs, talk to this lady. Then i'll let you decide.'
She smiled weakly at me. I had never see her so unsure and so cautious.I sighed and smiled back.
'If i meet this crazy lady will you let me go to Greenview College with Meghan?'
'If that is what you want. Now get cleaned up, your face looks awful'
She kissed my forehead and left my room, closing the door behind her.