I would say that i was just an ordinary kid doing ordinary things, but saying that would be a compliment . The truth is i wasn't ordinary, in some ways i was less and others i was just plain weird. I never really had any friends through primary school. Maybe one or two, but i forget them now. They are irrelevant to my life. I still find it hard to comprehend just how much has changed, i still feel like me and yet, not me at the same time. It's hard to describe, which is the whole point of writing all this. To try make you understand at least a little about me and if you are to understand you need to know everything, right from the very first day that my life changed.
I awoke to the wind whistling through my bedroom window, my house was old and very cold. Winter was always the worst time of year. I hated the chill, the rain, the storms and dark clouds but mostly, i hated the dark,cold mornings which made it impossible to climb out of bed away from the soft and warm security of my blankets. Without bothering to brush my hair or even look in the mirror i plodded downstairs to see if mum had made a special breakfast. Ever since Dad left she had been trying harder than ever to make me happy. It was like she was trying to make every single day count, make each one special. Too bad school ruined the effect by being the same boring work day in, day out.
"Good morning Tara, you hear the storm last night?"
"Yea, bit hard to miss"
Mum smiled and handed me a plate of freshly baked pancakes drizzled with golden syrup. My favourite.
"Oh mum, i've decided what high school i want to go to. wanna guess?"
"Umm... sweetie, i wanted to talk to you about that. You are going to go to Elderwood, it's sort of like a private school for... umm... kids who... i guess, aren't quite like everyone else. A lady will be coming round later to talk to you."
She smiled weakly at me, but i was loosing it. I glared at my mum, so angry. I wanted to scream and yell and cry. Those stupid teachers from school have turned my own mum against me, made her believe them too!
"I'm not crazy! i'm not! i don't need a SPECIAL school!"
It was hard to breathe, my whole body shook and my hands clenched into involuntary fists and my vision faded a little.
"Don't send me! dad would have never allowed this!"
"Tara calm down"
i ran back to my room, crying. Everyone thought i was crazy, just because i didn't fit into the exact mold that wanted me to be. Mum had always just said i'm unique and have a unique purpose in life that i was better than the other kids, not crazy. Never crazy. But now she wanted me to go to a school for crazy kids, where they teach you to not fit into society and give you drugs, lock you up. I threw myself down on my bed grabbed my pillow and crammed it down on my bed, hoping everything would change. That i wouldn't be forced to go to crazy school and that everyone would just see who i really am, see i'm not crazy.