To shuffle from this mortal coil

Drink a pint of boiling oil

If that won't work then smash the printer

And spear your eye with a plastic splinter

Still not dead? Now don't be glum

Shove a stapler up your bum

But if none of this still works out

Fill your mouth with tiling grout

Then run into the bosses room

with a bomb, you both go boom

Take the nearest elevator

cut the cable, meet your creator

Climb up to the highest floor

Jump off the roof just to be sure

Finally, if all else fails,

Pierce your brain with six-inch nails...

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Click to View Author Guidance

Wow. Author guidance... cool. Basically, no rules to this, just various and interesting ways to bite the big one.

Possible ideas for chapters might include "suicidal ways to die", Ways to die on a city street", Ways to be killed by animals"...

updated Jul 1, 2008 by redhat