Welcome to Eden

Eden Falls: just your everyday British countryside village. Except for the top-secret government facility. And the fact that there's a cactus walking around. And a girl who had a train carriage surgically removed from her nostril.

If you’ve ever been to the village of Eden, in a non-descript English county ending with ‘shire’, you’d probably remember it for two things.

1)The picturesque waterfall located just outside the village, creatively named Eden Falls.

2)The top-secret government facility that harvests the organs of extra-terrestrial life forms and sells them to fast food chains.

The second one is my friend Barry’s idea, anyway. There is a top-secret government facility in Eden and it is blamed for a lot of weird stuff that goes on round here, but there’s no evidence to suggest that alien organs are being put in everyone’s favourite burger. However, there’s no evidence to the contrary either. Needless to say, Burger World has gained several foolhardy customers since that particular rumour.

My name is Thomas Moore. I’m a fairly average fifteen years old, the only thing odd about me is my friends, but we’ll get there shortly. First things first, let me tell you where all of this began, seeing as nobody else is volunteering.

In a high school, secrets are never kept very well for long. Things are different, just in this rare exception, at Eden High School. You’re not going to believe this because nobody does until they see it for themselves. If you dip your English homework in Eden Falls, all of the grammatical errors corrode away. I know, it sounds like a prank and most people thought it was until something even weirder happened at the start of this year.
Two years ago, a lad in the year above named Alan Pope drank from Eden Falls and immediately turned into a cactus. I told you weird stuff happened in Eden. I was there at the time.


I was sat with Amy, who is one of those weird friends I told you about. Amy is a know-it-all, every year has one. Only difference is, Amy is curvy with long tanned legs…oh, and her face is a train wreck. Literally a train wreck. She was leaning over into an oncoming train, the first two carriages went straight into her stuck up nose whilst the other three were sent flying into the air and landed on Eden’s Conservative Club. Amy was the first patient of the suddenly re-opened hospital and there’s a photo of her mashed up face on the wall of it. It doesn’t fill many patients with enthusiasm or hope for their survival. The whole thing was on the news, so surely you saw it. They had to surgically remove the train carriages and their startled inhabitants from her nose.

The End

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