All I knew was ,time leaves trails .Small powerful moments etched into the milestones of life . Something so clossal that it reshapes your existence .
It never was an ordinary day to begin with .
"Need help with that ? " I said biting my nails .
"No , am almost done here" , dad said struggling with the over stuffed old suitcase .
I hated these sudden calls for long business tours but nature had always found excuses to put us on opposite ends of the world
."I'll be back in no time , besides you wanted time for that painting din' you? "
I sat silently watching him and observing how his eyes looked so brown in comparison to mine.How the wrinkles and soft grey hair and yet a body that showed no signals of growing old made him handsomer than people his age . He always had time for me out of his work occupied life.Every winters he would take me for a vacation and we had our own hidden, secret sanctuary , a house that looked like a castle from medieval times where he would cook with a little help from our old friend martha and I would paint for hours .Occasionaly he would have guests , some old friends and buisness partners , a private little dinner which always seemed grand. A thing he would do to allow me to meet new people , to give a chance , to open windows to the world I had otherwise shut out myself of .
Mum was only a memory of my childhood now , a hazy shadow from the past . Still remember the day I had seen her packing , she picked me and placed me at the edge of the bed ,very slowly combing my hair with her long graceful fingers .Her red painted lips pursed and a gentle smile that curved them.
" Mummy loves you angel , but I have to go , you're a brave little lady aren't you , always remember whenever you look into the mirror you do not see yourself , you see me , you are my reflection "
Music woke me up , dad was at the piano again, he was no maestro but very impressive,the way he turned pages of a musical score and played with his eyes closed as if drifting into another time frame .
It rained so heavily that it seemed like the clouds were letting a load off their chests once and for all
."Hop in munchkin , I know you hate seeing me off but I want to see your lovely face before starting off for this tour "
I dreaded goodbyes and was planning how to spend a week wihout dad
.Dad put an arm around my shoulders"So what do you want me to bring for you, too old for dolls I guess "
I looked him into the eyes , a look he knew too well
"So you still want to go visit grandma don't you ?"
"Dad I .." Dad breathed in and holding back all that he wanted to say , just patted my hand. I didn't press it further .
After mum's car accident on her way to Newyork for her job as a magazine's editor grandma had gone into an accusing mode for several years . She had blamed dad for mum even when she knew he was the one who had suffered more than anyone else.Dad however knew it was because of grandma that mum had taken up the job, for had it not been for grandma, mum would never have given up on her painting.Mum always wanted to carryout her dreams and that included her love for painting.She had always lived an umbrageous life ,dominated with an egoistic mother who pushed her to do more than she ever wanted to .Even after she had married off a man she had fallen for , her mother wanted her to make her own identity."Dave" my dad was doing well and wanted a quiet life in a cosy house with his wife but fate had decided otherwise.