Although I live in a damaged place with scarce hope, Christchurch remains as my home, the one place where I feel safe. My sisters and friends call my father and I crazy for continuing to live there, but how can we just up and leave when we have fought for so much? Our house has no damage; we have food, water, power. Everything we need to survive and we’re doing just fine.
Many families have lost everything, their homes, memories and precious things that can never be replaced. Others have lost loved ones, children, husbands, wives and best friends. Fathers, cousins or just a stranger you passed on the side of the road.
The day that Christchurch had lost so much, it brought many people together, to unite into one place of understanding that we’re not alone in this, we have each other and the whole country standing behind us, supporting us should we need
The time that we shared our pain and loss is precious to me, we share the same dream and have identical hope.
Be it one life lost or one thousand. It was one country that stood on its own two feet and survived through the darkest time we have seen.
Every night I remember what I lived through, I think of the ‘what if’s’, what if I had gone to see my career’s councillor, what if I were on the very bus that had been crushed and killed passengers…
Those thoughts run through my head every night, and my answer to them is this; God was watching over me that day, he had kept I and numerous others safe. I still thank him for that but I never to ask why the others died, the question is full with a lot of pain that I never ask it out loud. I do consider myself lucky and the same with my father and sister.
Tears for those that perished continue to blur my eyes, I know that I never knew them but I feel the sorrow of their absence. I see their family members on T.V and I cry for the pain that they are undoubtedly feeling. Out of the hundreds that died, only two remain a mystery. Police worked hard to find out their identities but the remains were so beyond recognition that they were baffled. Two families without a loved one to bury, to put to rest and their sorrow has got to be far greater than any of can even think to imagine.
I ask myself why I write this, and why it took me so long to finally let the emotions out that I had bottled inside, and I still don’t have the answer for it, maybe someday I will. But for now, I’m simply content with saying that this is a story to share with those that choose to know.
The future of Christchurch remains a mystery but with the people we have I know that with time everyone will heal and the city will re-build and we will be the new and improved Christchurch.
And that thought alone gives me a new found sense of hope.