It turns out that mystical doors are easier to open and be smashed through by gym equipment than they are to keep open. This is especially true when you are inside an enchanted forest with no magic exercise bicycle.
I came to attempting to breath a puddle, about four feet from Duck. He was attempting to hide in the undergrowth in that pose he thinks is sneaky. There was no sign of the ballistic exercise paraphernalia although the growing bump on the back on my head assured me it was shortly behind us when we crossed through the portal.
"Shhhh!" Duck hissed as I coughed up as much of the liquid mud from my lungs as I could