"Gorgeous. Pour me another shot," I begged of the pretty blonde girl sitting on the kitchen counter next to the booze. "I'm not drunk, I swear, I swear!" I slurred my words a bit, but my thoughts were sober. Dark..but sober. "Dude, you-you're drunk." She giggled, enunciating the last syllable so heavily she threw herself into another ridiculous fit of laughter. I struggled to remember her name as I forced myself to match her laughter, pushing down my feeling of numbness. No sense in being a downer, it was New Years' Eve. Brianna? Katelyn? Hannah. Definitely Hannah. Whatever. She was some guy's girlfriend. I reached around her to grab a full bottle of vodka, and laughed lightly as I made a mumbled remark about loving the party. I slipped away down the hallway, tipping the bottle to my lips while I tried my best not to cause too much disruption to the game of beer pong happening on the floor.
Plastering a smile on my face and overplaying my drunkenness, I stumbled a bit through the clusters of people. Have to seem fun. For all they know you're drunk and happy. I turned my head in passing to laugh at a joke I hadn't really listened to, and almost fell as I collided with a guy in the narrow hallway. I started to apologize but fell short as I saw the disapproving stare of my brother, Sebastian. He didn't bother to shout over the music, now blaring A Day to Remember though the huge speakers. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty room, making sure there were no couples using the room's queen sized bed before he closed the door behind us. "How many drinks is that, Amber?" He asked in his protective, mature-brother tone. "What's it to you, hot shot?" I laughed, a bit too high-pitched than the norm for me. His eyes darkened. "Stop. You don't need to act like that with me. How many drinks have you had?" "I don't know, 6th or 7th." I avoided his eyes, looking at a chip in the wall's paint. "Amber, look at me!" He snapped. "Something is wrong, I know you! You're hiding something, and I don't want you drinking any more tonight," he said and reached to take the bottle from me. I met his eyes with mine, and glared at him as fiercely as I could muster as I jerked my hand away. "Seb, I'm fine. I'm a little bit tipsy, I'm just trying to have some fun with everyone." I moved towards the door, but he put his arm in my way, forcing me to turn back to him. "What." I spat, trying to sound impatient, but my voice broke. I pretended to be very preoccupied with my shoes as he spoke. "Amber," he said, his voice turning softer, "You're upset, and I'm worried about you." I blinked rapidly, and hardened my face and tone as I looked up at him. "I don't need to be babysat by you, Sebastian. You just need to learn when to fuck off." I stormed out of the room, swallowing hard and trying not to cry. I pushed my way quickly through the teenagers still cluttered around the house, and made it to the front door, where I slipped on my shoes. "You're not leaving, are ya, Amber?!" Someone shouted amidst the sound of laughter and music. "I'm just going out for a minute of fresh air, man!" I called back as I pushed the door open and trudged through the snow on the front lawn.
I walked down the street down to a bridge over the river, still clutching the bottle of straight vodka in my left hand. A cop car drove by, and I quickly made certain that the bottle was hidden from view.