Mild Existential Inconvenience

The end of the alley way was like a drop off into the abyss of the unsettled dust that I had brought up when I first hit the dirt of reality on my one way trip to this freak show of a life. I had cracked bones all over me , they must have been the only hint as to what I felt within myself.

Guin smirked, I didn’t turn around to look at him but I knew somehow that he had smirked, and when I did turn my ugly hidden face toward him, there he was with a crooked mouth seizing my feet in there place. “You said I was a spirit? What does that mean?”.

The smirk left his face and his head tilted from side to side as if he was trying to measure my dimensions. He walked toward me with his head down, the echo of his footsteps on the wet pavement clattered in the empty void that was my head. “Ones emotions are also known as spirit. That is what you are, pure emotions, although you show signs of something more, and that intrigues me”.

Finally stopping before me, he raised his head and looked at me in the eyes, or should I say, eye sockets. It didn’t matter how I could hear and see. Why I was here was the most demanding thought on my mind, trumped only by the elusive memory of Julia’anne.

He continued. “ You died, you are dead, I’m not sure how long you’ve been dead and I’m, not sure who you are or how you died but I have a good guess”.

I tilted my head in confusion. The shock of being dead wasn’t much considering I had just seen myself embodied as a walking skeleton. Instead of concerning myself with those useless questions I went for the less obvious. “How would you have a good guess of who I am?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know! Take the obviousness of your case. Dreamers are the consciousness that derives of a person that didn’t want to die, their whole is in such turmoil from what happened to them in death that they break into pieces. They become fragments of themselves.

A Dreamer may float in the void of death for years before waking into one of three fragments, the soul, the spirit or the body. You were either drowned, starved or burnt alive, and most dreamers that are a consequence of a long painful death come back as spirits because they had the chance to know they were dying and onlyemotions held them alive for the time before their death.”

Guin walked behind me while holding a hand up in an explanatory habit. “Also, it is well known that the spirit stays at the point where the most emotions where felt in its former life. Usually were the person died.

The spirit is a knot of emotions rapped in the shroud of its sin to not return to its birth place. People that die in tragic ways very often leave behind a part of themselves, dreamers are the consequence of all the parts staying behind.

Whoever you were doesn’t exist anymore, he is in pieces, you have to rebuild yourself and find what put you in shambles”.

The words felt like hot knives driving through me, I was not really who I was, I felt like a fraud, but I couldn’t feel too bad because the absence of my identity held back some of the emotion.

Guin finished his rotation around me and looked at the sky, “I have so much to tell you, and time runs out fast. Dawn arrives, and with it comes another lesson”. Guin walked to the fire escape of the apartment complex and looked up at it. “Let’s go watch the sun rise”. He put his hand up to the ladder and with the flick of his wrist, it broke free and unfolded before us. He walked up beside it and gestured me to go first.

“How did-”

He put up a hand and shook his head, “Questions come later.”

I held my tongue, or whatever it was that enabled my speech and climbed the ladder.

The End

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