This was marvelous! I can only hope it will finally excise the insanity of my life but I don't cling to much hope. Air flying through my flailing outstretched hair, I hurdle downward, a smile on my face as my mind drifts back to my very first and dramatic attempt at "ending it all".
That specific effort occurred when I finally awoke to the truth and understood what I'd become - a monster who must feed incessantly; luring unsuspecting victims like mere stupid chickens, to be cut apart and fried into succulent pieces.
The chickens visiting my coop come quite willingly, for the promise of greedy pleasure and yet receive only suffering and pain before my voracious appetite consumes them completely. Like a pendulum of oscillating emotion, some go screaming but nearly immobile in my grip; while others are almost limp; complacent and quiet as if drugged by the thought of what's happening.
Since then, I've walked into traffic, being broken up by speeding steel and glass. I've dramatically placed myself in the middle of bar fights getting myself stabbed and shot in the process. I once paid a very evil man to strangle me in my sleep and have even gone so far as to dive headlong into a nearly frozen lake to slowly sink and finally drown.
In spite of everything I am still here; hurdling downward faster and faster; barely able to catch a breath due to air rushing past so fast. The opportunity was there, so not wanting to waste the moment, my mind seized upon it tenaciously.
I've made reluctant peace with what I am; although I've never understood how such a monstrous thing could befall me. For the most part I've ceased interfering with fate, and yet here I am once again smiling; as I plummet downward, ready for the end.