Sister Claudia Üveg sighed as the cold sprinkle of water caressed her forehead. She opened her eyes and looked into the mirror on the wall. Looking back at her was an elderly woman though the lines in her face did not detract from her beauty, and she looked healthy. Today, she remembered, was the day she had been waiting for… today she would officially become an abbess. When she had first arrived at the convent, she was an anxious seventeen year-old, eager to devote her life to service of the Lord. The days of learning to cook, sew, and sing seemed far away now. When her fellow nuns had elected her to lead the convent, she had initially felt anxious. Would she be able to lead them as well as her predecessor? Would they wish they had chosen someone else and just wait begrudgingly until her time passed? But as time progressed, Claudia began to see that her sisters loved her, and knew that they had faith in her when they wrote her name on their ballots.
“Sokan vannak, de kevesen a választottak.” Many are called, but few are chosen. She whispered aloud. There was a gentle knock at the door to the east, and Claudia wiped her hands on a towel. Opening the door, one of the sisters poked her head inside.
“Sister Claudia, the bishop is here!” the sister whispered excitedly, and Claudia waved her away while she prepared herself. Once she had readied herself, Sister Claudia left her room and found herself tracing the familiar path along the cloister towards the chapel. With each step she took, her heartbeat quickened, and sweat began to trickle across her brow. Perhaps the bishop would see through her smiling face, and notice some of the error in her eyes. When she was in the candlelit chapel, she smiled warmly as she greeted the bishop. They talked for what felt like many minutes, and it became time for her to be blessed. Throughout the entire ordeal, Claudia had a crazy urge to throw her hands into the air and declare her treachery…but she remained composed. The bishop placed his palms together and greeted Claudia as Mother. Where there should have been joy and a deeper sense of purpose, she felt only fear. Excusing herself to her chambers, she sat on her bed and began to ruminate. I lack the faith to lead them. Was all she could think. They’ve chosen one who no longer believes with the fervor she once did! And she was too cowardly to confess.
“And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.” She whispered, lowering her head into her hands.