Time escaped my awareness and I laid alone in the dark. Everything here was different, a strange bed, strange clothes. Almost like I was taking someone's place.
I blinked, looking at the clock on the bedside table. Nine-thirty. Alot of time had passed since I had first stepped into the room.
I sat up gradually and took a deep breath. I turned my head but couldn't see much. The only light around came from the digital clock and from the crack of space under the door to the hallway.
My heart skipped a beat, startling me. I drew my eyes down; my hand was clutching my heart. Absolutely nothing.....
I ran my hands through my hair and stood up. I was slightly groggy and tired. I hadn't been sleeping. Swaying slightly on my feet I walked over to the door and turned the nob, then stopped. Should I really disturb him?
My hand shook but eventually I opened the door. My footsteps were vertually silent on the navy carpet, but they were still too loud.
I bit my lip to stop it from quivering and stood unmoving outside his door for a minute or so. Finally I got the courage to raise my hand....and knock.
Tap, tap, tap. I cringed and waited. For a few seconds nothing happened, then the door swung inward revealing Ben.
He was clad in a pair of grey sweatpants and socks. His chest was bare; I was glad.
I loved Ben for his soul, but you couldn't help but like him for his body also. Ben was built; eight pack, bicepts, the whole nine yards. I looked down and struggled to breathe normally.
"Sorry," I whispered, and took a slow step back. Ben took my arm, looking me full in the face. I carefully averted my eyes from his though.
"Come on," He murmured and pulled me into his bedroom.
I followed reluctantly and stood hesitantly at the edge on his bed. Ben however arranged himself relaxed, picked up a book and started reading. Shaking and most likely blushing, I folded my arms and tried to slow my heartrate.
"Couldn't sleep?" He asked, not looking up from the pages. It was probably stupid of me, but I nodded, not wanting to break the pressing silence.
As if sensing the movement Ben glanced up and gave me a half smile. "If you want, you can stay in here...." I didn't move for the longest time as he watched me.
Then, I walked to the opposite side of the bed and curled into a ball on the soft down comforter. I could almost feel the warmth of Ben's sad smile on my back. I faced away from him out the window. It was raining again.
I tried to wish sleep upon me. It didn't quite work.
Something touched my head and I almost jumped a foot in the air. Ben trailed his hand down my long hair and along my back again and again.
It did havoc to my heart, but after a while my eyelids grew heavy and finally closed. Ben was making me realize how tired I was.
Right before I went under I thought something too cruel for words.
Here, now, I'm not sure I want to wake up anymore....****
****I felt her slowly relaxing beneath my fingertips and her breathing evened out completely. I continued to rub her back until I was certain that she was under, reading my Bible.
After a while I laid a blanket gently over her and started to whisper scripture to her. Anna never moved, and when I finally turned off the light to go to sleep too, I sighed. I'm kind of glad she's alone, I thought. Then cringed.
No, I will not, think like that. It just hurts her more....
Her face was the last thing I saw before surcuming to rest and she flew in and out of my very odd dreams that night.