"What did they do to you?"
Wait, what? I bit my lip, puzzling, what did they do to me? They? They....them. I remembered, everything.
I gasped. Ben! I looked at him, yes, it was Ben, Ben had helped me. Ben was here for me....
"Ben...?" I whispered trying not to hyperventilate. The room was slightly spinning and I was really thirsty. Ben's eyes widened and he reached foward.
A scene lashed in my mind, the guys drunk and laughing, Rador reaching for me, the haze of drugs, "Come here bitch!" On instinct, I shrinked away and he imediately stopped.
"Sorry. Habit..." I whispered, though I don't know why, we were alone. He was looking at me intently, just like he looked at his opponents when playing Poker.
Ben looked down, and I tilted my head to the side in confusion. He had the strangest expression on his face that I couldn't decifer. I didn't like it, but I didn't know what to do.
I hesitantly, painfully, crawled over beside him. Every movement sent shock waves of agony up my spine and I ached all over. The strange numbness had left me, leaving me more aware than I really wanted to be of myself, but I didn't matter right now.
Slowly, I put my arm around Ben's shoulders and held his hand. I was weak so it was more me hanging on to him, but my point was made. He looked up at me and for the first time, I saw the tears in his eyes threatening to over flow.
I smiled. " Go on," I said. Ben's eyebrows slightly raised in confusion.
"What?" he whispered so his voice wouldn't break.
I swallowed. "Go on. Cry now. It's all right, and you need to cry," I whispered, though strong. "There's no use for holding it in anymore, it's all right to cry now. Go on." I was blinking feircely while I said this because with every word I got closer to tears myself. Ben was strong, he was always strong.
Because he had to be.
For everyone, his friends, for me at one time, and not once had anyone else been strong for him. So I had to be and give him a turn to be comforted. He deserved it, he had earned it.
Ben closed his eyes after a moment and his lip slightly quivered. And when he opened his eyes again, the tears broke through. I softly pushed his face on my shoulder and held him rocking back and forth. "It's all right, it'll be fine..." I kept chanting that because it wasn't just him that needed to hear it, I did too.
Ben was slightly shaking, and I closed my eyes. Did everything have to fall apart? Is anything solid anymore? I wondered.
Yes, I told myself. I am, I am solid.
Because I am here.
I survived. This is my story.