I kept fading in and out of consciousness. Pain came and left infinitly and I just wanted it all to stop. The only thing keeping me from letting go were images. Pictures of friends, family....my life.
My girlfriend Rose and I dancing without a care like idiots in the rain. Meeting my best friend Josh for the first time. Will and I making out in a hot tub. Scott reaching to get a poker chip in the bag between my legs. Talking with my cousin about our eating disorders. Sidney laughing with pizza coming out of her mouth. Ben rocking the dance floor as the main attraction. Brandon buying me a coke after smoking at a church. Me convuulsing after cutting myself and doing drugs...so many memories, so many things I didn't know whether I wanted to forget or remember forever.
Sometimes it was too cold and I trembled with chills. Demons flashed on the edge of my vision, but was I even awake? Is this all a dream? But then there was intense fire that scorched my throat, making me sweat. I grew familiar with black. I wondered whether that was a bad thing.
The occasional swirling colors of a memory would pop up and I would just try to bury myself deeper in the darkness where there was alot less pain. Even though the past was alot clearer than the present. And most of the time there was silence. The occasional voice might enter my awareness randomly, but I brush it aside, it's not important. But, didn't voices mean things...?
Wait, what is important? What am I here for? Where am I?
I pushed hard at the black. I know, there's something I need to remember....