As if I wasn't paranoid enough, a girl that had come out of the ship stared at me throughout the whole duration of the speech. It was extremely intimidating, and it made me feel uncomfortable and awkward. Even more uncomfortable and awkward than I had been before. I thought maybe smiling would make her turn away, but it didn't. She just continued to glare, and my face continued to burn. I think I made things worse by doing that.
A lot of the things I do make things worse.
I was standing there, completely lost in thought, the invisible cogs in my head spinning at unimaginable speeds.
Do I know these people?
Why are they here?
What would I have to do with them, if I did know them?
How does that man know them?
Why did that man save me?
Why did he smile at me?
It wasn't a kind smile, so why did he even smile in the first place?
Did he even mean to smile at me?
Is the girl still looking at me?
Are my sheep okay?
What if my parents aren't dead and it was all faked?
No, that's stupid.
(But what if it were true? Is it a possibility?)
Do my parents even have anything to do with this?
Is this Karma? Have I done something wrong?
And so on, and so on. I realised I was so deeply tangled within my own thoughts, the speech was over, the crowd was dispersing, and I hadn't listened to a single word. People were looking at me strangely, like they always did, and I stumbled backwards, toward my house. I was scared, and I didn't know what to do. Yesterday had been so normal and I thought it would always stay the same, always the same days repeated over and over until I died, or our planet got hit by an asteroid or something. Either way, I would inevitably and eventually die.
But I knew now that things were going to change. I don't know whether it was the way my heart was still pounding, how my jaws were still clenched and my muscles were tight, or just the feeling in the air, how it seemed different.
It's funny how quickly things can change.