Everything is set up around me, now just to choose.

Life hasn't been easy for me. People will understand this and some day my family and my friends will look back and they will be on my side. They won't hate me for being so selfish any more.

I said friends. As though that is what I class them as.

I don't even know what it is like to have a 'friend' any more. Do friends take your life? Well, if the people I'm thinking of are my friends then yes, I guess they do.

It just hurts too much now. I am so tired of being tired, so tired of crying every single day and night; spending my life talking to a mirror because the girl staring back at me is the only one who really listens. That girl with the messy hair and turquoise eyes is the only person who understands what I am going through and she is the only one who doesn't get upset with me for repeating myself because she knows I only repeat myself because it is important; because it doesn't just stop being important after I have told her the first time.

I think I would prefer this to be painless. I remember being told about a painless way to do it but I've forgotten it now and so I am sitting here with the only options I have at my will.

I am scared though.
I think I'll go for what, to me, feels like the simplest option.
After all, I am quite good at taking pills.

I'm going to sleep now, I think it'll be easier that way.

I just pray to God they stay down this time. 

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