Its based in a school that has recently had a brand new designer come in and modernize the entire place.
And you get to read what takes place at this school through the eyes of a new student who has only been living in the city for 2 months now.
What would you do?
Don’t you dare judge me!!
You don’t have any right to look at me that way; you don’t have any idea what it’s like so LEAVE ME ALONE!
I’ll ask you again, what the hell would you!!
* * * *
Beep beep – beep beep – beep beep
Beep beep – beep beep – I flopped my hand outwards and brought it down upon the buzzing alarm clock, burying my head into my pillow, mentally praying to give anything to go back to sleep, to just be able to close my eyes and drift off into nothingness once more.
I knew I couldn’t but it couldn’t hurt to dream every now and then. Pushing my elf up, my clothes clinging to my body, I must have been moving in my sleep again. I grimaced as the morning light hit my face, spilling in from the broken shabby blinds that by some miracle were still attached.
Anything but graceful, I stumbled to my feet, tossing the blanket over me back onto the sofa and came to a complete stop, untwisting my t-shirt from my body. The bag I packed last night stood ready by the door for me and my trainers were beside it too. A quick glance at the alarm clock told me I had a good half hour to get to my destination. Oh I could tell this was going to be a very interesting day.
Shuffling over to my trainers, didn’t take more than a few steps – it is a small room after all and shoved me feet into them, picked up my bag and grabbed my jacket from the back of the door and left without a second glance. I got to first floor and stopped outside the manger’s door when I caught sight of the sandwich store across the street. My stomach chose that moment to remind me that it was empty and that food was needed. I hadn’t noticed that I’d taken a few steps closer to the building doors leading to the outside world, closer to the sandwich bar.
Behind me I heard the sound of a door opening, my whole body stiffened at the familiar sound of clogged husky breathing. “Ah, so there’s my baby doll. Wondered where you had gotten to.” I couldn’t help but raise my shoulders slightly as some sort of defence from the foul creature that stood a few paces behind me while quickly searching my bag for that envelope knocking aside a few pads of paper and pencil case. The faster I found it meant the faster I could get away from him.
With my frantic searching I didn’t notice him move closer to me and I nearly dropped my bag when his hand made contact with my bum, he had slapped my bum and even went as far to give a playful squeeze “Got that rent money for me doll face?” Not the best start today, having the lowest piece of trash feel you up and powerless to do anything about it...unless you wanted a huge increase in your rent bill that is.
Oh thank the lord! I had grabbed the envelope with my rent money for the past 2 months, yes I had feel behind in my payment but as of this moment my debt was paid. Think I practically threw it at him while taking a very big step forward to get out of his slapping range, in doing so I actually got to see him and that he had spilt some kind of tomato sauce down his front and the top he had on was stretched tightly across his stomach as his hairy belly button was displayed for all to see.
“So you gonna let me in on how you’re getting this money baby doll? You know I would accept your personal visits as payment, at least then you would get to keep this money” he paused, opening the envelope to check that I had in fact handed him the right amount. That was my task done I had given him his money so I zipped up my shoulder bag and made a break for the entrance doors, in my case the exit doors and welcomed the cool wind upon my face.
Of course, the first thing in my sight was the sandwich bar across the road opposite me and yes, my stomach grumbled with hunger, even louder than the first since I could smell freshly cooked chicken and could see one of the workers placing it in the hot counter ready to be bought and eaten. No, my hunger would have to wait; breakfast isn’t all that important, I’ve gone without it for a while so I know it can be skipped. My stomach grumbled in one last act of protest, it got a light hit from my hand, hoping that would make it shut up. Not really sure on how effective that actually is but it did stop growling at me.
I couldn’t help but take another glance at the sandwich bar, I had always wanted to get sub from there, it’s what drew me to that set of apartment blocks, well that and the cheap rent. That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve dreamt of finally being able to go into that store and buy one of those juicy chicken subs. Anytime I’ve come close to actually being able to get one over these few months something has always come up, a simple little desire such as buying a subway sandwich is constantly being denied so why bother with anything bigger, the hurt and disappointment is only bigger.
Oh yeah, if you haven’t noticed I don’t exactly have a good outlook on life.
I was surprised at how busy the street was it was completely packed full of people dashing about their lives. I’ll never get used to living in the city and of course the way I had to go meant fighting my way through the masses. It just wasn’t my day as the next thing I knew was a startling pain in my right shoulder and my bag was knocked from my shoulder, luckily the zip held and its contents stayed safe inside though my shoulder felt like it had been stabbed.
“Watch where you’re going!” complained the guy who bumped into me and I repeat the guy who bumped into me was telling me to watch where I was going, I was the one who was standing still. So many responses flash through a person’s head in these kind of situations though my bag was somewhere on the ground and I had lost its protection, I felt too exposed not having it on my shoulder. I needed that feeling of security more than wanting to tell the guy off.
“Sure” I sighed, not knowing if he heard me or not as I bent down and picked up my bag, replacing it over my shoulder and dived forward into the crowds of people, weaving in and out eager to get lost amongst them putting more distance between me and the guy before he could create a bigger commotion. There was a clean break ahead of me – I took advantage of the space and sprinted round the corner of the building and threw myself against the solid wall, seeking refuge against its sturdy strength.
Great, I’m not up for more than 10 minutes and I’ve already entered my run and hide mode, maybe if I stayed here long enough the wall would swallow me up...guess not and for once I was glad that people get wrapped up in their own lives it meant I didn’t need to worry about some idiot bothering me with stupid questions about if I was alright, I’m trying my best not to hyperventilate of course I’m not alright! No, no, no and no, not now, I’m fine and I am alright. I am in control...ha yeah right if I was I wouldn’t be in this situation.
I pushed away from the wall, pulling up my hood as I did so – It comes attached with my jacket, one of those detachable ones that nobody ever uses and no doubt gets lost when unbuttoned from the jacket, well I use mine and a lot, it’s another security thing I have and I was gonna need it today.
“You gonna get any work done this year?” I overheard some girl asking her friend. Oh just great of all the groups of people to get stuck walking behind and it’s a group of care free students whose biggest concern was completing homework and finding someone to date for each term.
“You kidding me, since when do I ever do my work” the friend chuckled back and I couldn’t help but snort and roll my eyes at that. Any student who says they aren’t gonna do the work is always lying; they say they won’t for the cool points with their pals and end up doing the work anyway. The two of them must have heard me snort because they glanced back at me, one of those times hoods come in handy as it created a shadow over my face, shielding my eyes from their glare. Note to self be very careful not to create another scene within 5 minutes of the last one, give at least a 10 minute break between each one to allow mind to adjust.
Oh god what should I do? I couldn’t run ahead without cutting between them and ultimately bringing myself even closer to them, I couldn’t double back...what if that guy was wanting more than just a simple ‘sure’ from me. I was trapped. My heart began pounding against my ribcage after I noticed the two girls were still looking back at me. Hoping they wouldn’t say anything to me I lowered my head maybe it would me make me stand out less...oh please just carry on talking about school ok, no need to waste your time on me.
Some guy wolf whistling caught the two girls’ attention and brought me out of the red zone and back into amber - the green safety zone just doesn’t exist. I may as well look up and see who my temporary saviour was to satisfy my own curiosity.
“Hey Hoyt.” The first girl exclaimed in excitement, wrapping her arms around the neck of the tanned boy who had just joined them, making it easier for their lips to lock in place and for fingers to run through each other’s hair. Lovely, not only do I get tortured listening to meaningless gossip I get the added bonus of watching them swap saliva.
“You gonna try out for the team this year?” the second girl chimed in after a few moments of listening to the sounds of smacking lips. The kissing couple pulled apart gasping for air and entwined their arms around each other.
“My spot is pretty much guaranteed.” The guy named Hoyt bragged proudly. I didn’t need to be beside them to know he was sticking out his chest with pride and yes, even his walk turned into a powerful strut, parading the girl attached to his arm at the same time while the other served in the drooling groupie role.
If I wanted to keep what little of my IQ intact I had to stop listening and drown out whatever the posh dweebs declared in worship to the stuck-up jock. I was managing quite well to block out their annoying voices until a little thought that had been growing bigger managed to squeeze into the front of my mind and wouldn’t go away till I knew I was thinking about it. I hadn’t had any chance to overtake them and they’ve been going in the same direction as me now and that feeling of someone twisting my stomach grew stronger.
My last hope was this upcoming corner to my right, if I was going to saved from the new doom fate had bestowed upon me those three people had to take, had to take this next right. If they took the left they would be going exactly where was I going. The twisting feeling in my stomach was now making me feel nauseous and I could barely feel my arms anymore, the mussels felt weak and it was all I could do to stop them from shaking uncontrollably.
I hadn’t even noticed that my breathing had slowed to a dead stop after I saw the three teens ahead of turn left.
I have no idea what made me keep going, I put it down to my mind wanting to know exactly how bad this day could get – sheer morbid curiosity kept me going, when that turns out to be the only thing keeping you going on a certain path or direction you would think that common sense would kick in and save you from the pending disaster. If that happens to others it did not happen for me. My eyes glued to the ground, my bad clutched to my chest for some sort of extra protection as I followed in wake of the three teens leading me ever onwards, barely even noticing more groups of students creeping out of nowhere, the sound of laughter rising louder.
The advantage of keeping my eyes on the ground meant I could still hope this wasn’t happening to me, that it was all just some crazy dream I was having and I could wake up any moment and be saved.
Disadvantage was that when I did look up that very second, I had nothing left in me to deny what was directly in front of me. The word ‘Longsdale School’ in a modern style was placed neatly above the entrance doors or in other words, my very first college and hundreds of students were walking or running about though with a slight bit of relief the three teens I had got stuck behind had gotten lost within the crowds.
Blocking out everything I focused on the glass doors a stone‘s throw away from me and began wobbling my way towards them knowing that the miracle was the only thing keeping my on my two feet so it was useless to hope for anything else.
I really didn’t pay any attention and only noted that the inside was huge, white and had that brand new shine to everything and that it was packed full of budding new students wandering around, holding bits of paper, filling in forms while teachers were running around like headless chickens fighting to keep the chaos of the first day under control. The place I needed to get too stood right at the heart of the huge white circular room – a round smart desk with four people working at the four computers, answering phones and dealing with lost teenagers like myself.
It’s quite strange how much you can block out when you have your course of direction fixed in place, you can block out everything except how you are actually doing – my hands were sweating, my heart was pounding I could hear it banging in my ears, my legs had turned to putty and I could barely stop my arms from shaking and I was clinging to my bag like my life depended on it. I had never been around so many people before.
“May I help you?” a comforting voice burned through my head, the woman was obviously just taking pity on my scared form with that piteous look in her eyes. I couldn’t take it; she had no right to compare my nerves to those of first day fears jitters of those around me, they were nothing like me and she was comparing me to those brainless teens around me. I had to get away from this woman.
“I’m here for my first day.” I made sure she heard me, I didn’t want to end up repeating everything I said, I had to get out and away, there was just too many people rushing about, laughing...were they laughing at me....no they can’t be, I haven’t been here that long. That girl...was that a sneer? Need to get away, please woman hurry up!!
“Alright and you name please, miss?” she asked with a pleasant smile
Could she see how much I hated this, was she dragging it out on purpose to slowly torture me into insanity?