a poem about a special someone.
why are you so different from how you were?
is this your idea of fun?
to cause so much harm to yourself and let me sit back and watch?
you may here me talk about how much i hate you.
it's a lie.
i don't hate you.
i love you.
and when i say i hate you, it feels like a mace striking my heart.
no, i don't love you in that way.
i love you in a different way.
a way i can't even begin to describe.
and the fact that i never talk to you or see you anymore kills me.
i don't want to see you doing all of this stuff.
you know what stuff.
the drinking, the smoking, the drugs, and just the all around acts of stupidity.
you mean so much to me.
when i hear these stories about how you did some crazy thing last weekend, or the weekend before that, or whenever, you can't begin to imagine what that feels like.
where did you go?
where did the person you used to be go?
you had plans, ideas, goals, dreams.
i don't see it anymore.
sometimes i sit and wonder if i really knew you at all.
maybe i didn't.
maybe i'm wasting my time talking about how i thought you were different.
is this what you wanted all along?
for people to talk shit about you behind your back?
for people to spectate on your life because you can't seem to control your actions?
i'm sure it wasn't, and isn't what you want.
so maybe you're reading this, and you don't realize this is you.
or maybe you will never read this, and it will become a blog post on a webpage that's never read.
either way, i'm taking a shot.
i'm putting my thoughts and feelings out there in the hopes that you will see it.
and maybe you'll change your ways.
but not for me.
i want you to see how destructive you're being.
maybe this will get you there.
but always remember.
i love you.
i'm here for you.
you can love me, hate me, slander me, cut me, kiss me, hug me, talk to me, gossip about me, punch me, kick me, touch me, whatever you want.
but i'm always here for you, even though i haven't been in the past two years.
just know that.
and if you decide that you don't want to change, then i hope the life you lead is a prosperous one.
full of joy and love, with a few stumbles so you can learn a few lessons along the way and become wiser and more knowledgeable.