Old story, approx 2years. Written Present Tense, which i don't like, but hohum, i'll deal with it, because I'm not into rewriting old stuff... I reread it this afternoon.
READ ON, GOOD PEOPLE... THERE IS NO SUMMARY HERE!
Calli closed her eyes and yawned. It had been one of those days for the pair of us, but I think it had particularly drawn her to extremes.
As I watched her stare at the charts at the end of his hospital bed, tracing the initials and their surname - A.J Holloway, I sigh and think about how it could easily have been me that was in the same position, though I’m somehow glad that it had been coming from his side, not mine. I’m sure Cal wasn’t so delighted though, when I had phoned her at one o’clock this morning to get her down here, she had turned up looking pale and ill, even before she had seen the state Alex was in.
“Tom…” she looks up at me, blinking sleep away from her eyes. It wasn’t working, and it was creeping up on her slowly but surely. I don’t know why I had decided to phone her, as her brother, I knew she was diabetic, that it wasn’t the best time, but it was necessary.
Necessary when Alex was laying in a bed, in a sterile room, surrounded by people he didn’t know, who were stitching, cutting, trying to help him.
Necessary when Alex wasn’t in a stable condition.
Necessary when he was dying.
Her head rests on the wall beside his headboard, watching and waiting for something to happen. Nothing comes to give her hope, and she closes her eyes, losing faith.
“Cal, have you had your insulin?” I say, just as she’s about to drift off to sleep. She nods and opens her eyes to look me in the face
“Course I have, do you think I’m thick?”
“No, Calli, it’s just that…”
“That it’s bare annoying to see you like this.”
“Bare annoying?” she smirks at me, “Sorry, I don’t understand.” which she does perfectly, actually. Cow.
“It’s really annoying to have to watch you sit, trying to stop yourself from crying, every minute of every day. Cal, don’t lose hope. Never lose hope. He’ll be alright. He’ll be fine.” he’ll not die, he’ll survive. She’ll not lose faith in him. She can’t lose faith in her husband.
She doesn’t deserve to lose him, so she’d best not lose faith. He‘s too strong to let her lose faith. I can‘t let her lose faith. I‘ve done that enough for the both of us.
I go down to the nurse’s station at the end of the ward and ask them what time the doctor should be round. The ward sister shrugs, and my blood pressure begins to rise. I try not to get mad, for Cal’s sake, but it doesn’t work, and I end up raising my voice. Calli is by my side in an instant, telling me to calm down, telling me to get a grip on myself.
I can’t, therefore I slap her. Therefore, I get a whack back in the face. Therefore, I calm down. And Calli cries. Lots. Bugger, bugger, bugger. Her breathing starts to race and she chokes back some loud sobs. Managing to sit her down, I calm her slightly and make her relax.
“He’s gonna be ok.” I keep repeating into her ear. She nods, but then sends back a worse statement.
“But… will he be the same?” I try to convince her he will, try to convince her that everything will be exactly as it was, but what good is that when I don’t believe it myself?
Fourteen Days Later…
“And the weather’s awful, Alex, you wouldn’t believe…” Calli’s voice lessens to a whisper as she leans down to kiss the top of Alex’s head. There’s no response, and I think she knows that there isn’t likely to be one… but she hasn’t given up.
Calli isn’t one to give up, never has been. She rewrote coursework essays four, five maybe even six times before she gave it in to draft. She preplans everything, prepares for every eventuality, and I don’t know why but she came into the ward yesterday with a notebook.
She’s even planned for this.
“… Dammit.” she swears as she hits her hand against the metal frame of the bed. It makes a satisfying metallic thung, and for a second, she smiles, it disappears and doesn’t return.
“What did the doctor say earlier? About… his ‘affairs’ being in order?” she says suddenly. “Do you really think they think he’s not going to… y’know…” she hangs her head before I can shake mine, and I think she thinks my silence is enough to say that yes, he is going to die.
I don’t think so.
“Cal… Look at me. Now.” I say firmly, knowing her eyes will be bloodshot, her head will be aching and her heart is ripping itself in two, but I make her look at me, “Cal, he’s not going to… he’s too strong, you know that…”
“I don’t think I know anything anymore.” she starts to sob, and her only comfort is the sound that echoes from the bed moments later.
“I think that’s the wrong twin saying that.” his voice startles the pair of us, I drop the glass of water I’m holding, it shatters, spreading splashes of water all across the ward that will eventually pool into soft, reflective, wonderful puddles that will absorb all the pain around them, but Calli reacts quickly, throwing her arms around him, slamming her lips to his, “Hey beautiful. Why all the affection? I’ve not been anywhere.” She pulls away and I can almost see the pieces of her heart flying back into one, the rewound version of the shattered glass by my feet.
“You’ve not… Alex, you’ve… Do you know where you are?”
“I take it… I’m not at home, in bed then?”
“N-no…” Calli says slowly, a little uncertain, “Babe, you’re in hospital, you got very hurt, fractured your skull… you don’t remember?” Alex shakes his head and I see Calli’s expression grow darker, “Alex, you’ve been in hospital for almost 15 days, unconscious. The doctors thought… they thought…” she looked at him, tears blossoming in her eyes again. “They didn’t think you were gonna survive.”
“What do they know?” He said simply.