The Strange Incident of the Crazy Mutt high on Ice Cream and Flea powderMature

            Man dust me. Itch much. Mariette thought, Sense wrong. Much wrong. Itch bad too.

           The dog's owner looked confused, as Mariette refused to get off the grass, and kept pulling him towards the picnic tables, "No, Mariette, no more ice cream for you today. Helping me with my cone is one thing, but that's someone else's!"

            The toy poodle just kept pulling, and only resting when she needed to breathe, as the leash pulled her collar against her throat.

            "Mariette, no!" And despite what he was saying, the man's thumb twitched its way towards the release button. He knew she would enjoy licking up that girl's fallen ice cream.

           Garrulous. "Grrr," she growled, and then began to whine, a high pitched drone.

            And then it all came loose, and she bounded up onto the table and licked the remains of a young woman's ice cream. And she smiled at the dog, as she picked the toxic pieces of the shattered chocolate shell away from Mariette. Stranger stroke itch. Feel nice.

            Her owner was shy and stood away, smiling awkwardly as he watched Brittany rub his dog's ears. It was an intimate moment, of canine and human bonding - or maybe it was just the ice cream.

            Clang! Clang! The metal posts holding up the iron-wire fence had come loose from the wet ground. They fell one after the other. And that is when the dog walker finally noticed the crude acts of two bodies having sex against the fence.

            "Holy shit!"


            And the fence sagged lower, as Eddie now rested his full weight upon Jolene, letting out a very satisfied sigh. Then the waitress got up from under him. There was a diamond imprint of the fence upon her back as she walked towards the water's edge.

            "What's going on here?" Mariette's owner took it upon himself to ask. And every man in earshot turned to him, with a blank stare of indifference; and Brittany, too, as she kept petting the dog fondly.

            "Arrrf!" Wrong. Do something, Dad.

            And as Jolene cannon-balled into the water, in her hiked-up waitress uniform, she caused a splash. And at that moment, everyone regained full control.

            Mariette began to bark incessantly. Her owner ran to the water's edge, followed by Andrew, Eddie and Brittany. Awkwardly, Eddie zipped up his pants, red-faced. And Marriette kept barking at the woman in the water.

            Jolene had a look of frightful terror on her face, as she struggled to fight the current that pulled her towards the ominous churning waters.

            "Arf! Arrrf! Arf!"

            And as her head bobbed under once, and then a final time, her flailing hands descending last...

            "Freeze. Nobody move." A stern, commanding voice - feminine and angry.

            Mariette turned, as only she could. And she saw a woman dressed for work aiming a metallic object at all of them, with a shining golden object in her other hand.

            "Slowly, turn around," the woman ordered, with gun and badge facing the group of people at the water's edge.

            And as everyone turned, intuitively raising their hands above their heads, Mariette lay on the grass, scratching herself. Nice woman. No hurt. Me itch.

            Officer Brooks cautiously lowered the gun. She looked the young woman in the eyes, "Brittany, you're safe?"

            Brittany nodded.

            And then, someone new firmly invaded Eve Brooks's mind. She stopped putting the gun back in her holster, and quickly raised it to her forehead.


            "No!" Brittany yelled.

            Pwching! Then, Officer Eve Brooks slowly collapsed onto the grass, a bullet hole going right through her head from one end to the other.

            And Mariette began to whimper. Nice woman. Bad sense.

The End

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