The Copmature
His partner was evidently still taking statements from the girl's party but Greg Fenton decided he was due five minutes. He stepped outside, feeling already the coolness in the air; the bite that hadn't been present last week.
He'd had to let the Magician leave. He was a strange fellow, sure, but Greg couldn't believe he'd had anything to do with the girl's disappearance. He was too obviously in shock, and really, the guy hadn't been out of sight of at least two hundred witnesses at any time.
He lit a cigarette and looked out over the quiet campus.
Looks like a painting; those trees and that big old building there. This whole thing is a waste of time. Some student joke. She'll have had one other person in on it, maybe two. A scholarship student they might ask to leave - but not this one. Her dad will be good for a new gym; new science block, something. Waste of time - waste of money. These kids'll never learn when they have it so easy.
He hadn't had it easy. A part of him wished he could have gone to a place like this. Only then he wouldn't have learnt what he had learnt and he valued that too. And also, he knew that if he had come here when he was young he wouldn't have appreciated it as he might now. He couldn't see his younger self studying hard, sweating over books and attending seminars. It was only later on he'd realized what he might've been missing.
He had a library card now, subscriptions too to various periodicals. He was as well-read as any of them. And the strangest thing was how it all became applicable, this new knowledge. Quotes came sometimes to him, and he'd come out with them without thinking. It generated some weird glances, but did he care?
The dark, Gothic buildings around the campus green made him think of a poem he'd once read. He'd have to look it up at home. Something about reflected truth and echoes? He was essentially pragmatic, but he shivered suddenly, feeling as if the buildings watched him: As if the weight of the years and the seeking of knowledge had brought them to resentful life. Echoes of the minds of all those who had come and gone.
He ground out his cigarette, and only then noticed the kid.
"What!" he said, probably too harshly because the kid jumped. He was thin and gangling with bad skin and hair that needed a wash. He had a look of someone who spent too much time indoors. Studies or XBox, it didn't matter.
"Erm...It's about Brittany. Brittany Sanderson?" the kid said nervously.
"Ok," Greg said. "First thing, what's your name?"
"Joe. Joseph Tayna. Only I saw this truck."
"Truck?"
"Yeah. Blue? Dark anyway. Didn't notice the make. Only they drove off fast. I was coming down by Hopkins and it nearly hit me. I had to run, you know? And I thought it was weird. Anyway, my friend Mal thinks he saw this similar truck parked up by the theatre. And he told me Brittany was missing. I thought you should know, that's all. Probably it's nothing, but I thought I should say. Because you know, you hear stories where people saw something? Only they don't say anything - thinking it's not important, but it turns out it is important. But it's probably nothing." Joe said all this in one breath, then stared at Greg with hopeful and anxious expectation.
"Probably nothing," Greg repeated. "Ok. Well thanks Joe. I don't suppose you got the plate number?" Joe shook his head. "We'll check it out," Greg said to reassure him, like a pat on the head. Well done, good boy.
"Ok," Joe said. He backed away a step and then turned and walked quickly down the path. Greg made a note about the conversation. Time to find Nadine, see if she'd leant anything from those girls.
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Sorry so much of my time is being taken up by house-hunting. Hopefully things will settle down soon, but my mental energy is drained. Add more if you like :). I'll join in as and when I can until my life gets less complex."
And since only ten percent of the world's population swings that way, surely I owe Protagonize nine times as many heterosexual sex scenes. Hah hah... for a total of thirty-six? And I've only posted... umm... a half dozen or so, thus far? Okay, I'm kidding now . . . I hope.
Anyways, Seldom, are you going to take the story forward soon, or do you want me to double-post until you have time and inspiration?"
wow, what can I say"
(Potential Spoilers: More rape, a metamorphosis (spread your wings, Mal), a failed exorcismic purge into the rabbit, flying an anthropomorphically demonic rabbit-Malcolm onto the rooftop to intervene with Joe, Melanie & Brittany.)"
Will post soon as inspiration strikes and I can be sure of not making some complete dumb mistake. May go back and read again from the top.
Anyway, don't wait for me if you want to add anything in the meantime."
Sorry I spelled her name wrong first time - I'd written this same chapter twice by then. It was better the first time. I forgot to mention a part I put in the first version (the one that got lost), about Brittany not being dead - just unconscious. I had Joe telling Melanie she wasn't a killer because she hadn't killed Brittany."
Umm...
May I request a quick edit in your branch titles, Seldom?
Nadine la Flaur and the terrifying discovery
->
Nadine LaFleur and the Disappearing Evidence
Then I'm gonna write a scene including Nadine, Gregory, Cottontail, Mildred, Photoshop, a metal cage, a lab test and SOME FECES... and the dreadful word: CIRCUMSTANTIAL! And we will find that... someone planned ahead. It'll give the investigative side of the story some... err... FRAMEwork. *cough*"
hehe"
And, yes, that was very obscene. But I figured we'd gone a few chapters since the skull-smashing scene. However, it is now running low on heterosexual love and/or sex scenes. (And, yes, lesbian scenes.) Then again, it's not our job to lace this with smut. There's plenty of crime-solving and magic to get through."
Wow on this branch - we are seriously quite sick aint we? hehe"
Was he reciting a nursery rhyme or something? I didn't catch that."
Branch 1: The Rabbit's Stare And The Magician's Wear
Mildred finds Nadine in Joe's dorm room packing up the rest of the evidence?
Branch 2: A Rogue Melanie Marauds The Rooftop
Witch to wizard combat? Melanie versus Joe?
Branch 3: The Ringing of Reverend Fenton's Phone
... not much to say. The title is about all I got for this one."
Sorry, will post as soon as I can, but am still undecided about the direction I'm going to take.
:)
great round-up btw"
CURRENT CHARACTER & LOCATION LIST
Joe & Brittany on the roof.
Melanie, who knows where.
Nadine processing evidence.
Julia, who knows where.
Mildred and Hoban, in Mildred's dorm.
Malcolm, in Mildred's bathroom.
Greg and Veronica, trying to reach Julia.
The Sanderson Parents, who knows where. Probably the police station?
Eddie, reporting suicides to Canadian authorities. Not crucial to the story anymore. Maybe as a witness later on.
Thomas, probably at a singles' bar?
Mr. Bessant, patrolling the halls.
Eve and Andrew - shot, presumed dead.
Male demon, in the nameless black cat.
Female demon, in a dark corner of Mal's mind.
The white rabbit (Cottontail?), in Mal's & Joe's room. This is relevant if we want to purge the female demon into a Familiar, like Mildred and Hoban may have done with the black cat.
In the last branch I wrote containing Joe, I was trying to paint Joe as a pathological liar. Hoping to make the reader question, momentarily, whether he's good, selfish or evil as he stands there with Brittany. I still don't really know. I hope it fits well with your rule-breaking admiration thing, if he ends up being full of bullcrap. Next, I assume she'll notice the bruise on the back of his neck. Since he's still bleeding from the rape, the other wound can't have gone away - even though he isn't paralyzed anymore.
Now that Brittany has returned, the same night as her disappearance - there's the missing agent to deal with, and the evidence Nadine and Greg have got. And Nadine has solid evidence to convict Joe - even if he's now got Brittany's affections back. I don't expect Greg to be taken seriously with the claims of the occult, nor do I expect him to necessarily report them until he has evidence.
And, I think a death at the school would shake things up for the morning head count.
The FBI or some special agency could get called in? I dunno. Like X-Files, heh heh. Okay, maybe not.
What do you think of Mildred? I'm not sure if I did a good job or a horrible job when it comes to that character. I'm never sure if she's creepy enough or unrealistic. And hopefully not too much of a stock-character (like, a stereotype).
Anyways, Seldom, I really liked how you used Joe's disappearance to set up a Brittany-Joe confrontation. And we finally used the guns for something. It wasn't what I had planned, not that plans matter much on Protag, but it worked out well. And I think I'm lacking the nice imagery that you put into your branches.
And, I dunno why, but I'm not very happy with how poignant my mix of thought and dialog is in this story. I'm used to getting at the thoughts of both characters, and so with only one to focus on at a time, I'm still learning how to handle things. I'm tempted to think that I should write my branches for this in First-Person and then, when I'm done, edit it into Third-Person right before posting it so that things have the right perspective to match how you've been doing things. In layman's terms, I don't think my narration's perspective is as limited as it should be. :-(
And whatever strange plans I had in my head of combat and magic are now gone. :-D"
I was gonna bring Hobbes (Hoban) into the scene with Mildred, and... umm... yeah. Complicate things with yet another eccentric character. But I can do that another time, if you want to write the next Mildred-Mal scene."
Hope it kind of fits what you were thinking.
:D"
So, I wouldn't call it an over-reaction. And I did inadvertedly set aside the semi-romantic foreplay of the "your hands are fire, Joe" bit. A grave mistake on my part."
I'll take the next branch - who's down at the river with Brittany? - I have Andrew and Eddie, Mariette the poodle and Mariette's owner. Jolene and Eve obviously out of the picture hehe"
I understand your concern. I have absolutely nothing against homosexuality. Honestly, my intention is for Mal to remain gay. We don't need two bisexual characters. We read his thoughts shout in a previous chapter that he's repulsed by women. The demon is just &^#^ing with him."
Agree that we could have an evil woman lol. Maybe she's been behind the scenes up to now?
Enter - the principal? the math professor? the personal development teacher? ;)
I do like the branch and I think the demon's voice is great, was just uncomfortable with some of the things you seemed to imply. If you didn't mean to imply this then just ignore me."
We should have a big finale with lots of death and destruction - have it stretch over a few branches."
This scene doesn't necessarily need to be done in the long run. And we can let the bureaucratic investigation stuff remain in the background if we need to.
The Speculative Officer Fenton Laments
Gotta continue for Greg and Veronica at some point. She had the last chapter, so I gave him this one. Though there might be more to her story. This could also be occurring in close proximity to the events Nadine has intruded upon.
The Fearful Malcolm In A Bind
This HAS to be dealt with, probably directly. This one tempts me the most to pick up, now or later, though I don't plan to continue their sexual conquests (at the moment). Magic and combat, are up my sleeve.
Seldom, do you want to take one of these branch titles or should I double-post?"
Brittany Sanderson
Andrew Tayna (father of Joe)
Eddie
Jolene the Waitress (dead)
Officer Eve Brooks (dead)
Agent Nadine
Veronica Sanderson
Officer Gregory Fenton
Reverend Julia Fenton
Joseph "Joe" Tayna aka Claude Vossian
Thomas (minor character)
Succubus Demon
Malcolm Larsson"
I think I'll take the Exorcist for a spin."
Am hoping to post a branch by the end of the day ;D"
:O"