dirty windows

an awesome thing is a journal

August 22nd, 2010

Sam is an awesome person. He would be 'my' awesome person but you see, he belongs to everyone, so I can't claim him for myself.

I wish I could though.

I wish he would hold and play around with me like Bailey does.

Bailey- good lord help me.

Bailey would be my awsome person. He's an Irish ginger who is currently bald. He's probably five ten I think and slightly tanned. Also known as Hulk with a six pack and bicepts that will scare the crap out of you. Let's just say you don't want to brawl with him because everyone loses. But he's not one of those people who would start something when he's mad and what not. He only goes offensive if you throw the first punch, and you're pretty much dead from there. Everyone rubs his head for good luck. (They usually are lucky after that though; Bailey hasn't failed yet.)

Anyway, everyone assumes we're going out or are going to go out. The only problem is that I can't.

I love Sam.

Not that there's anything wrong with Bailey, heck no! He's a hottie with a smokin' body! And he's also one of the nicest, most funny, epic people you'll ever meet. Did I mention that he likes me and I'm two years younger than he is? (He's a Junior by the way, I am a Freshman.)

But I love Sam.

Bailey's so fun- he tickles me and gives me piggyback rides everywhere and always hugs me even when I don't ask. Why can't I fall in love with him? He's the perfect boyfriend that anyone would love to have. He's paid for countless things for my behave and won't let me pay him back. He's held my hand tight and rubbed my back while letting me fall asleep on his lap. Beause he knew I desparately needed sleep and knows why. I always get the other earphone to listen to his Ipod, the seat next to him in the van, the invitations to every VIP party. And he can listen to me when I need to be listened to. He can drive, has a job, and is getting a car. He's a good christian guy with great musical taste and talent who goes to my youth group. He's got great friends who are my friends also. He gets along with my personal girlfriends and vows he'll never break a heart or he'd break himself. He's that sort of cute shy that would never pressure you to do anything. His bro's all encourage him to kiss me, I'm trying not to give him a chance. 

Because I love Sam.

Sam, don't even get me started, I'll tell you about him later.

I wonder about him so much though.

My life is like a soap opera. My best friend likes Sam and might be asking him out soon. My friend doesn't know that I love him though and doesn't know whether he likes her back. I don't know if Sam likes me either for that matter. She thinks I like Bailey. Bailey thinks I like Bailey. Sam thinks I like Sam I think. I really don't know actually, it's all kind of blurred. Oh by the way, my other best friend likes Bailey, another predicament.


Sam is hard to describe really, but that's just another reason why I love him. Let me start with his looks. Sam is probably about six feet with brown hair cut in a ridiculously awesome style and brown eyes. His smile is too contagious for his own good and once he sets out to make you laugh, you have no hope.

Sam isn't built or muscular or sharp and hard like Bailey. He's the kind of attractive that is softer and makes you feel equal and whole inside, like you don't have to be anything but yourself.

And you don't. Sam pulls your true self right out of you no matter how deep it was buried. It can sometimes be a scary thing, but it's always good, even if you can't see it.

Sam's got the hugs going on. You can never awkwardly hug Sam, it's not possible. And that's so ironic because no offense to him, but Bailey is a terruble hugger, I've never not had an awkward hug with him.

Truly, Me



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