October was a month.
October was a month of woes.
October was a month filled with desperation.
Gasping.
Drowning.
No end in sight....

Everything ended.
Everything just got worse.
Everything just spun out of control.
Helpless.
Lost.
Cant do anything....

Three people.
Three choices.
Three is the magic number.
Hard.
Stressful.
What do I do...

Made the choice.
Made the call.
Made the decision.
Courage.
Scared.
Here goes nothing...

Palms are sweaty...
Head is spinning...
Word wont come out...
She's laughing..
Smiling...
It hurts inside...

She'll never know.
I couldn't tell her.
I'm just lost in my own desire's.
Confused.
Coward.
How long can I keep this in...

She's living her life.
She's enjoying her life.
She's found someone better to spend it with.
Happy.
Lively.
Happy for her....

I spend my days lying in bed.
I spend my days wishing.
I spend my days hoping.
Dreams.
Fantasy.
I'll be waiting...

and so it begins...

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