Well Sunday I spent looking for flowers, I spent $7500.00, smelling the perennial sweetness of beauty. I have decided to stay at least a few more days, I wanted to get the tears out before I went back to collect Joe's stuff, I am moving all the ceramics and tribal art pieces out to "New Haven", I named the plot (I know it's not original but at least its a name that makes me feel comforted, and thats what I need right now). I think the art will fair better out here than the city. Eric has long been on my mind, when Joe died I longed to reach out and touch the youth of Eric, when I wrote out the story, I felt jealous release to remember those times so long ago, the awake times, before my fall into the unknown impurity. I had never noticed how asleep I had become to reality until i began to write it out, blocks missing like widows in a brick building. Tell me I'm crazy that I'm dealing to well. I need to feel something.