"So... what's the point of life?" I smirked as I asked Sarah the ultimate question.
Sarah laughed, "To exist, of course. But what you're really asking is what's the overall objective goal of your physical existence."
Smiling, I nodded.
"From your perspective, there is no objective goal. Your perception is intentionally limited so that you can't see the bigger picture. On the other hand, if you could see the bigger picture, it would have no meaning to you. To use an analogy, you would be looking only at a grain of sand trying to imagine the entire beach... and by beach of course I mean infinity.", still smiling, she sat down on the floor.
I chewed on that for a bit, quietly. I see a handful of paths to take in this journey of self-discovery... and I'm gonna take all of them... all at once.
"Who intentionally limited my perception and why?", I figured I'd start at the obvious.
Sarah took a breath in, "You are really infinite, part of everything. What you think is real, is just an illusion that you pretend is all there is. This concept of being infinity is completely meaningless to you in a practical realistic sense because you are thinking about it from a finite perspective. I have no basis to explain this to you in a way that will have any impact on your perspective."
"She's not trying hard enough intentionally, John. She could explain it, but she wants you to figure it out on your own... like the child she thinks you are.", Seth boomed from behind.
I raised an eyebrow and listened intently.
"The point of your existence is to make a point. You're here to create goals for yourself in a finite reference frame. Like make $100k in a week, or run a marathon, or eat at every White Castle in the country. You're a creator, your purpose is to create and create and create some more. There is no lack of shit to do, and you can choose to do any of it... or even try and do all of it." Seth was building up enthusiasm now.
"Now I'm wondering why my Ego is giving my an answer more satisfying than my subconscious higher self?", I exclaimed.
They both laughed out loudly. "Because the physical world is Seth's speciality... his obsession, the source of his existence... and you, John, are living in that world at least 75% of the time.
I looked squarely at Seth, "Why have you been tormenting me for my entire life? You're constantly analyzing, judging, and bashing me every moment of my waking day. When I'm meditating, I can hear your voices as a chorus of chaotic random thought streams, stopping mid sentence and going to other random nonsense non-stop. You clearly hate quiet stillness, so what is your deal?", I asked bluntly and directly.
Seth grinned, "You know what I am, the collection of all your trauma. I was born of that pain and suffering and discontent, I am made of that dysfunctional aether that pervades you with such ease that you seem to invite it in like a sweet sweet friend that you don't know what you'd do with out."
Facing Sarah again, "Please, try to show me the bigger picture... let me taste it."
Sarah looked at me pensively for a moment.
"Close your eyes and feel your body from within. Feel your blood pumping through your veins and arteries. Feel the pulse of energy expanding in your legs and arms, in your head and neck. Feel the energy. This is you right now."
"Now take that energy and push it out. Shoot it out in all direction growing and growing non stop... never ending growth. You don't see anything, you don't hear or smell anything... you just feel everything all at once. You feel and understand everything because it's now part of you."
She continued, "There are no issues there are no anxieties... you just exist and feel. Every person, every event, every movement... they are all part of you and there is no such thing as time. You can experience every multi-dimensional orientation at once, because it's all there."
She paused to let me feel this concept, and I could tell she was helping by giving me that taste I asked for. I felt on the edge of something that was so amazing, so euphoric that it was beyond explanation. But it was also on the other side of a boundary I could not cross.
"Now, the "you" that is consciousness is merely a thread of that infinity that is following a single path through this matrix of spacetime. This limitation, this single thread that your awareness is following... this is what you call time."
Letting this sink in before continuing, she smiled and instantly there was a bright aura around her, Sarah then revealed the obvious, "John, time is an illusion that is a result of your consciousness following a single path through the spacetime matrix."
"So, if this is true, then free-will is also an illusion.", I suggested.
"It depends on your perspective. Every single orientation of spacetime exists in this multi-dimensional reality, so in that regard everything IS already since time is not a variable factor. But from your perspective, you're traveling a single path through the entire matrix. So where you are now, which was determined by where you were before, combines with your intention right now in this moment to implicitly choose which position in the matrix you will be in next. It all exists, but you choose what is real for you.", it was clear that Sarah was trying to greatly simplify this concept and failing a little but I think I got the gist of it.
"So beyond all the details, my intention creates my reality every moment", I tried to summarize the main point.
Sarah had a big smile and nodded, "Very oversimplified, but yes. Every moment you create your reality".
This thought rolled in my head as I willed the door to open again. I walked outside and laid down on the beach of the lake staring up at the vast sky, that I created, and fell asleep.