So many school kids and party crashers were here it was unreal. I could barely breathe in here because of so many kids. I saw a full bottle of unknown alcohol and I chugged half of it in two minutes. Demetri sat by me the whole time getting drunk with me. Soon, I was blacking out and didn’t know what was happening. Demetri and I were locked in a room and that was all I could remember. But I knew what happened, things I normally wouldn’t have done with him. And it was even worse because I knew I wouldn’t have regretted it but he would. He likes Jordan. The next morning I woke up on Jordan’s front lawn with a bottle in my palm. I got up and realized I had a horrible headache. I held my head in my hands as I went inside the house. Demetri was passed out at the top of the stairs. I kicked him a little for him to wake up, we walked to his house and I fell asleep on his bed. I had dreams of last night. I was so drunk and it seemed like I was seeing this through someone else’s eyes. I walked up the stairs with Demetri with an evil smile on my face. The door shut and we never came back down. I woke up violently to Demetri messing with something in the kitchen. “You okay?” He laughed and peered in his room. “Yeah. Fine.” I actually felt worse than I did the first time I woke up. “This hangover’s killing me.” I walked into the kitchen and leaned against the wall. Demetri looked absolutely perfect in that moment. The way his smile was and his hair and…everything. I shook my head back and forth and closed my eyes for a minute. I shouldn’t be thinking about this. Demetri is just a friend, a friend that I could have possibly had sex with last night. Great.


A few weeks later I became worried that I was pregnant. I mean, it sure did seem like it but I wasn’t sure. And I definitely wasn’t telling Demetri just yet. I was supposed to be going to class but I skipped it and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and played with my jet-black hair. I was nothing compared to my sister, she was so beautiful. I ignored that and sat on the floor. I took out my scissors and cut deep into my arm. Not enough to pierce the vein, but enough for it to drip blood. I got paper towels and wrapped it around my arm. I left the school and escaped into the woods. Once I got far enough to where nobody could see me I through my school bag down and dropped to my knees. What was I getting myself into? I was so stupid to even go to the party with Demetri. Why did I have to drink that much? And I did I have to be such a screw up? I cried and cried until I could barely keep my eyes open because they were too puffy. I heard someone walking and I scrambled to get up and run. I ran and ran until I fell down again and couldn’t move. What was wrong with me? I closed my eyes, hoping I’d fall asleep. The footsteps got closer and I clenched my eyes tighter and tighter. I wasn’t scared but I was wondering who could possibly be back here. I didn’t move and I thought the person who was back here might have thought I was dead. “K-Kallie?” A familiar voice softly called out my name. I stayed still. They knelt beside me and turned me over. I opened my eyes slowly, was this who I honestly thought it was? Was I just dreaming? I touched the face I knew, I wasn’t dreaming. “Michael.” I then realized it was Michael. I mean really comprehended that it was the person who hurt me the most! Why was he here? I got up as fast as I could, even if it did mean I almost fell in the process. “Why are you here?” I grabbed my school bag from his hand and backed up a little. “I love you.” He said in a cute tone. “That’s what you said before. I’m done with getting hurt every time we date now a days.” I started to leave but he grabbed my arm. “What are you doing?” I tried to yank my arm away but he was too strong. “Let go of me!” I yelled. “Fine. I just want to know if you still love me.” He let go of my arm and waited for an answer. “You know I do, I’m just done with you for a while.” Then, Michael let me leave without anything more to say. I actually waited by Demetri’s car until the bell rang. I sat on his trunk and closed my eyes to pass the time and soon the bell rang. I jumped off his trunk and waited for Demetri to appear. “Kallie.” His smile was genuine. “Can you drop me off at the drug store?” I asked while closing the car door. “Sure.” Demetri kept his eyes on the road. It didn’t take us long to get to the closest drug store. “I’ll walk home from here, it’s fine.” I closed the door without saying my goodbyes. I didn’t even look back to see if he actually left or not. I picked out three different pregnancy tests and brought them up to the front counter.

“Is this all?”

“Yes.” I sighed while digging through my bag for my things. I looked up and it was Michael. He smiled and took my money. “We have to stop meeting like this.” His smile quickly faded. “Is this for you?” Michael pointed to the bag. “No.” I lied. “It’s for my sister.” I lied again. I quickly left the store and Demetri did leave, I was hoping he didn’t. I really would like a ride.


A couple hours after I got home I was done with all the pregnancy tests, thank god they came back negative. I threw them all away, hidden so my sister wouldn’t see. To think of it, it wouldn’t be so bad to have a baby but I could do that later on. I didn’t need to think about that now. I flopped down on my bed, thinking of everything that has happened in the past year. I fell asleep and dreamt of Michael’s face the whole time. I remembered the first time we met, hugged, kissed. Everything. Beep. Beep. Beep. The loud buzzing noise on my alarm notified me it was time for school. I’ll just skip today, nobody will notice. I turned off my alarm and woke up several hours later to see Demetri sitting in my chair across the room. “Demetri?” I rubbed my eyes. “Yes?” He laughed and kissed the top my head. What was that for? I thought quietly to myself about that. Several days later I was laying in my own bed, thinking. I came home after what happened at the party, I needed to stay home. I was alone at my house, like always. I closed my eyes and right before I fell asleep I heard a loud knock on my front door. I groaned as I rolled out of bed. What do you know? It’s Michael. “I need to talk to you.” He pushed the door out of his way. I closed the door and we sat in my living room. “Kallie, I want you to know something.” After he said that we both paused for a very long time. “I love you.” I whispered. He stayed quiet for a while longer. What was wrong with him? Did he not love me anymore? “I hate you.” He said while standing up now. I stood as well. “What?” My voice screeched. “I hate you. I just can’t stand to look at you in the eyes anymore and say ‘I love you.’” His eyes narrowed for a moment. “I hate you, too.” I smiled wryly. “Everything about you I just can’t stand. I want you to leave now.” I walked to the front door and happily opened it for him. “Hate you always and forever, Kallie.” He smiled and walked out my door. I slammed it and ran to my room. I grabbed all the things he had ever given me and put it in a box. I would decide what to do with it later. I then lied down on my bed and fell into a deep sleep. I didn’t awake until eight o’ clock at night the next day. I must have been deprived of my sleep. I walked out into the kitchen to get something. “Where the hell have you been?” Madison called to me in a smart-alecky tone. I didn’t answer her and just warmed up a leftover piece of pizza in the microwave. The microwave gave off an obnoxious beep when it was done. “So, are you gonna answer me?” She swiveled around in the computer chair to look at me. I just flipped her off and walked to my room. “Gosh, she’s a bitch.” I whispered to myself. I sat on my bed with the plate in front of me; I grabbed the TV remote and switched it on. I just watched a crime scene investigation show while I ate. I thought of everything, everything that has happened to me. Why did I end up where I am today? Things shouldn’t be like this. I should be with Michael. I should have a good life, like my sister. My mom should care about me like she does Madison. My father should be here to care for all of us. When I was done eating I lied down on my bed and I fell asleep with the memories of what used to be. When I was a little kid and everything was so much better.

I didn’t have to worry about anything. Everyone solved my problems for me and took care of me. I drifted into a deep sleep, thinking about my childhood.


A few months later it started to snow, winter is here. I thought as I trudged through the snow to Matthew’s house. He was my boyfriend I have had for four months now. He went to my school now. I finally got put into a public school. It was the old school Michael and Demetri went to but they both got sent to different schools in different states for some reason. I never found out. I thought about that as I watched snowflakes fall on the ground, on people’s roofs, cars…everything. The snowflakes look more like the end of Q-tips, rather than being different and pretty. I walked up the drive to Matthew’s house and he came outside before I even got to the door. I stared at him, perfect. His hair was in his face, dark brown. He was wearing a black short-sleeved shirt with a gray long sleeved shirt under and baggy, black pants. I smiled as he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. I followed him inside, into his room and took off my coat and all my winter gear. “Cold out there, huh?” He lye down on his bed and motioned for me to come over and lay by him. I did as instructed. I held him close to me, his arm around my shoulder. “Yeah, it is. I hate winter.” I grumbled. “Here, since I won’t be here on Christmas…” He pulled a small black box out of his pocket. Matthew opened it and a shiny; white gold diamond ring was staring back at me. My mouth was gaping as I stared at it. I felt embarrassed; I quickly shut my mouth and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I love you, thank you.” I whispered into his ear and let go. I put it on and it fit perfectly, it looks great on me. “But Christmas is just a couple weeks away, couldn’t it wait?” I pointed out. Then I remembered I left his gift at home. I slapped my palm to my face. “Your gift is at home! I’m sorry.” I apologized for my forgetfulness. “It’s fine. I’ll get it tomorrow.” He smiled at me and kissed me on my lips. The coldness from his lips transferred to mine and sent a chill down my back. “Where are you going for Christmas anyway?” I looked over at the clock, two ‘o clock. “I’m going to Florida.” He snickered. “It’ll be so warm. But I would stay here, but my grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles…well, all of my family complains how they come down here so much. They want us in Florida one year. They’re actually trying to get us to move down there, but mother isn’t moving.” I looked back at him and faked a smile. The thought of Matthew leaving me makes me want to be sick. It’s been a while since I’ve smoked a cigarette; actually it’s been at least a month and a couple weeks. But I suddenly felt the urge to get a lighter and a cigarette and smoke it. But…I’m trying to quit…leave my entire past behind. “But don’t miss me, I’ll be back before you’ll know it.” He teased. I laughed a little and closed my eyes. A few minutes later I fell asleep in his arms and didn’t wake until late. “What time is it?” I yawned, rubbing my eyes. “It’s about eleven…at night. My parents are cool with you staying here. What about yours?” Matthew stood there…with only his pants on. I stared at his body, it was attracting. “Yeah, my mom doesn’t care what I do.” I half smiled. He caught me staring at him. “Oh, sorry. My shirts are washing.” He blushed. “No it’s okay, really.” I laughed and turned on my side, away from him. I heard Matthew fidgeting with something and then loud, metal music came on. He turned it down some and then lied on his bed with me again, putting his arm around me. I felt safe in his arms. I love Matthew, more than Michael. Michael was a horrible boyfriend anyway…I didn’t need him ever again. We must have both fell asleep because when I opened my eyes I saw bright light peeking through his curtains. I turned over to face Matthew. He was still sleeping. I stared at him for a few moments, his perfect, straight and perfect skin. I got tired of staring at him and kissed him awake. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. Just like a little kid. I laughed at him and played with his hair. “Wake up!” I pushed him off his bed and he laughed with a low thump following after. He got back up and pulled me close. I felt his lips on my head and he kissed my hair. “I love you.” He said quietly. “I love you too.” I said just as quiet.


I lied on my bed, thinking. I wonder how long Matthew and I would last, hopefully…for a while. Because truth is, I never forgot Michael. “Get the hell out here!” Madison screamed at me, barging through my door. I groaned as I got up from my bed. What did they want? I walked out of my bedroom and into the living room, folding my arms. Madison motioned for me to come over to the computer. Her expression look worried. I walked over there and to my surprise my mother was on a news page. I scanned through it many times, was this true, what I was seeing? Had my mother really been that careless to…disappear like so? This sounded horrible. “Are you sure this is our mom?” I straightened up and unfolded my arms. Tears welled up in my eyes. Wait, was I crying? Over someone who never cared for me? I mean my mother has done stupid things but…disappearing? What was her problem anyway?

The End

0 comments about this story Feed