Die RomanticMature

I looked in her eyes, praying I wouldn't find what I was looking for. She told me she loved me, I would have taken a bullet for her. Just her touch, her very scent felt like a sin. She was so beautiful, but she wouldn't admit it to herself. She kept telling herself she was ugly until she believed it. She told me she couldn't sleep when I wasn't right there beside her. Who was I kidding? I couldn't even sleep when I was with her, all I could do was think about when I would have to leave her again. I used to think there was one person in this entire world that I couldn't live without, then I lost all hope. I was already dying on the inside. She had broken my heart, yet I still loved her. But, I kept going back, hoping she could make the pain go away. She was the only one that could help me now, I was slipping off the edge, the edge of sanity. Just the smell of her hair threw me back into the pit of hopelessness. I knew I couldn't have her. As much as she kept saying she loved me, she didn't want to be with me. Why was this one so difficult to get over? Why couldn't I just accept the facts, it was over, I needed to move on. As much as I tried, I couldn't look at anyone else. I felt like the blood of my very heart was draining, like someone had forced a knife into it. I wasn't well, the brink of insanity was on the horizon, not even an arms legnth away. She was the only reason my wrists didn't boast their usual crimson markings. I had made her a promise, never again. Never...or always? Could I still escape, run? Or, was it too late? Had it ended before it even began? No, I refused to believe it. But, then again, I had already convinced myself I was wrong about everything else, did it extend to this too? This downward spiral had to have a bottom, a place where you could sink no longer, where there was no pain, no heartbreak, no fear. The fear of being alone. I wasn't afraid to die, just to die alone. Was that the reason why I couldn't stop thinking about her? Because I was afraid to die alone. Or, maybe I was afraid to die a hopeless romantic. To die romantic. All I wanted was a fresh start, a new beginning. But it wasn't that easy, nothing was easy anymore. Every promise of a new tomorrow was beginning to fail me. It's funny, people never admit that there's something wrong until they're crying, just like everyone says life is so long, until they're dying. When I'm laying on my deathbed, what will be the last thing that I think about, will it still be about her? Will she be the last thing I see? Sometimes I wonder if anybody else takes the time to sit down, and think, if they were to die right this very second, what would their friends remember them for? Would they die with any regrets? If you don't live with any regrets, do you still die with regrets? Just take afew minutes, right now, think, what if you died? What if you never told the love of your life how much you loved them, or never apologized for how much you hurt somebody. Think. Think really hard, life's to short to live in regret. Love like you don't get another chance tomorrow, live in this moment, because this moment is your life. Love can either be your best friend or your worst enemy, it's up to you. I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'll fight for what I love, that's a promise.

The End

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