Yes, they call me Tubby, but I've never known myself to be extragavagantly out of proportion. Savory grog I prepare for these stellar champions. They call me "landblubber" but it doesn't seem to stop these rascals from slurpin down the grog.
They have a manner of speaking which I find quite endearing, "Avast Ye", they say, and a lot of "Aaaarghs" and barking sounds. As long as I get to mix my martinis the way I like them and sing my own "chantys", or "shantees", I don't really care a bit.
I'm going to try and spice up the grog tonight with a little black pepper and see if anyone notices. "Yaaaaar!" "Yaaaaar!"
One fellow teased me calling my "breaded veal", "dreaded veal", and that seemed to get the lot of them laughing. Who laughs last? Wasn't even veal. Since I had slept in, again, I didn't have the time to boil grog. Luckily, I found a clump of whatever it was under a barrel in the brig and dusted it up with some sawdust. Enjoy the veal, "mateys".
This is my first real job. Cap'n thinks I've been at sea for ages, Figure I'd have to tell them something to get the job. Told him I used to work on a 'Merchantman' called "the Royal Cannonballer" and I was knighted by the Queen for my 'exemplary service' to royalty. He didn't say much, just shook his head and turned around. so, I took that as a yes and came on behind him after everyone was sleepin'. Never cooked in my life, but it got boring sleeping at mom and pops. Ha, ha, Cap'n, I'm writing this in your diary.
Whooopsy! I'll just rip this page out now.