'Love Is Just A Four Letter Word I Can't Pronounce'

(A/N: This is a longer chapter for those reading this story. Enjoy, hehe. And also, I think this is the best romance chapter I've ever written. Tell me if you agree. ;-) )

 

I shook my head no then tried to move past him but he stood as firm as a rock in front of my door.

“You’re not going anywhere until we talk this whole thing out.”

I glared at him, trying to push him away from the side but he didn’t budge even a bit.

“There’s no use trying Cel.”

With a sigh of exasperation, I stepped back from him and crossed my hands in front of my chest.

“Fine. Now shoot.”

“There’s going to be no ‘shooting’ between us, I mean a real, sincere conversation.”

Sighing again, I lifted my body up so that I was now sitting on top of my table. Taking this as a signal of ‘giving in’, his body relaxed slightly as he leaned against the door and opened his mouth to speak. But of course, I interrupted him.

“Why do you care?”

He blinked at me, waiting for me to continue.

“Why do you care about me? Why do you care if I ignored you or cut off my friendship with you or anything else for that matter? I’m just some girl among the crowd that you try to figure out, aren’t I? If I’m only some kind lab observation specimen for you, why are you so ups-”

“What made you think that you were some lab specimen to me?”

His face was not playing his usual calm act. Instead, he’d let his façade go for this little confrontation of ours. A tinge of anger and disapproval was on as he stared at me in shock.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe cause you’re always trying to ‘figure me out’ or ‘running away’ whenever we have a real conversation about our relationship. How can I not think that I’m just some lab rat to you when you do all that?”

“Cause you’re not damn it!!!”

Glaring at me in a way that I felt like I was going to melt into a puddle any second, he ran his hands through his brown hair in frustration.

“To think that I thought you’d understand how I felt about you! Maybe I expected too much of you. It’s my fault, forget it. I’m sorry!”

Throwing his hands in the air in surrender, he started walking back to the door. But no way was he going to leave now. I jumped off the desk and ran toward him, grabbing hold of the back of his shirt and turning him around so his face was to me before pushing his back against the wall.

“You’re not forgiven. In fact that was the most stupidest apology I’ve ever heard because I don’t even know what the hell you’re apologizing for. And clearly, you didn’t even mean it. But like that matters to you anyways.”

I pushed him harder against the wall, not caring if I hurt him or not when he tried to escape.

“You’re not going anywhere Roy,” I hissed, my hands clutching fistfuls of his t shirt.

He looked as if he was going to smack me any second before he sighed, giving up. I released my hold on the front of his shirt, my eyes taking on a lighter tone.

“You need to open up. Sometimes, I don’t know how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking because of the mask you put on. How am I supposed to ‘understand’ if I don’t even know your side?”

I waited for a few minutes, looking up into his amber like eyes as he stared deep into mine.   

“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered. “I’ve already lost my parents and I’m afraid that if I give myself to you, you might leave me and take it along on the way. I don’t want that to happen.”

I opened my mouth but he silenced me by putting one finger over my lips.

“I’m not done.” With a deep breath he continued. “Growing up with no parents is something that changed how I act. I didn’t like showing people my emotions and so I constricted myself to just one, peace and calm. So when you came along and whirled up a whole world of other emotions I hadn’t even felt, I wasn’t sure how to act.

“I was scared I might screw things up by doing something wrong. I’ve had the urge to kiss you all day long, to wrap you in my arms and hold onto you through the night but I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with that.

“Celeste Dawn Cruz…you’re the only thing I want right now that I’m not sure I’ll get to have forever.”

My breath caught in my throat as he said those words. If I’d only known…and now it was my turn.

“I’ll tell you how I feel,” I said. “You can do all those things that you said that you wanted to do to me. And if you’re afraid that I’ll leave, don’t be. I’m not leaving anytime soon, and I won’t for as long as you want me to stay.”

I smiled up at him reassuringly as I stroked him across his face.

“That’s…that’s good to hear.”

And then, he leaned forward, kissing me in a way that sent thrills through my body, that sent the blood in my veins travelling in the speed of light toward my heart as it beat fast against my chest.

Drawing back, he looked into my eyes, wanting to see my reaction. I pressed my hand to my forehead and felt a bit dizzy.

“Three words, I think I am high.”

“That’s five words,” he said with a laugh.

“Apparently, I can’t count too.”

He wrapped his arms around my waist and brought my body close towards his as his lips pulled into a smirk.

“Mmm, so feeling high and not being able to count right is good or bad?”

“Good thing,” I whispered, grinning at him and wrapping my hands around his neck. “Always a good thing.”

Reaching up on my tip toes, I kissed him again, my body’s reaction even wilder this time when he picked me up, holding me against his chest as he walked toward the bed. Three words and forgive me if I mess up my counting again: I’m not in love, I think my feeling is more then just a four letter word.

The End

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