Talk to the tortoise

"Oh, I didn't know you talked," said the man, as he sucked his thumb in a slightly childish way. "Philosophically, should that determine my right to a peaceful existence?" the tortoise replied, rather testily. "Well, I am rather hungry and fairly desperate..." "So you decide to terrorize someone who came to the desert more prepared than you? You're no better than a common ruffian." "Well, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking forward to eating a raw turtle, but-" "Turtle?! Turtle?! Do you think those amphibious hooligans could make it out here in New Mexico? Hell, it's a difficult endeavor for myself, and I'm significantly more prepared to manage my fluids properly." "You look a tad toasty..." "You would be too if you were abandoned by a family on a roadtrip to go see their grandmother figure." "Well, I, um..." At this point, the shoe fell out of the man's hair and he started fidgeting with it in his hands. "You see, I just woke up one day in the desert. I don't have anything on me. I'm dying of thirst. You know, I used to say I was dying of thirst, but now, I'm pretty sure that I am. Seeing as you talk, you don't happen to grant wishes, do you?"
The End

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