socks

Dale has always thought of himself as different. Dale thinks that he's different because he wears brightly coloured socks to work and dyed his hair as a teenager. He also owns a Nicki Minaj album. Dale is thirty-eight.

Another potentialy reason that Dale is so different is that unlike a lot of people, Dale is actually a top secret government agent. He, however, thinks that this is a perfectly ordinary job and believes that it is far more likely that his decision to wear brightly coloured socks is the main culprit behind his inability to fit in. 

Once, while Dale was posing as an office employee, he found another unique individual similar to himself. It was 2008, and change was in the air. He had been posted in an office block, the kind where all of the workers shop at Waitrose and wait for the inevitable downsizing of the company or to be replaced by robots. It was a Wednesday - Dale liked Wednesdays, nobody had ever tried to kill him on a Wednesday. He was hacking into the account of the office's supervisor, as there were suspicions that he was one of the shapeshifting lizard people that came from the Moon. After the Royal Family incident, the government had really been cracking down on the shapeshifting lizards. Some of them were actually very nice. Tony Blair, for example. 

Dale had heard footsteps and quickly switched the computer tab to something less incriminating - a facebook album of pictures from the supervisor's family trip to the beach. He sneaked a furtive glance in the direction of the footsteps, and what he saw made his blood run cold.

Someone else was wearing coloured socks.

Dale leaped out of his seat and virtually tackled the coloured sock wearer. That is to say the wearer of the coloured socks, as the coloured sock wearer's race was of no importance to Dale unless it was green, the colour of lizards. 

"HELLO." Dale shouted in excitement. Misleading films such as the James Bond series had led many people to believe secret agents were all eloquent, charming and from Oxford. Dale was actually born in Hartlepool but grew up in Devon, he has difficulty making new friends and sweats a lot when he gets nervous. This worked to his advantage because nobody assumed the government would hire a secret agent who sweats a lot when interrogated. 

"Hello." His temporary co-worker replied, handing him a mug. "Thought you might like some tea." 

Dale sniffed it to ensure that is wasn't poisoned before sipping it gratefully. It tasted different to what he expected and so he panicked and feigned choking before realising that it was probably only missing milk. 

"This cup of tea isn't very nice." Said Dale, sipping his tea. "Did you forget the milk?"

"I'm Dennis." Said Dennis. "Pleased to meet you." 

They'd been friends ever since. Which is why, twelve years later - when top secret government agent Dale found out some top secret government information, he decided to call Dennis to warn him. Unfortunately Dennis had gone to Tesco, and his wife didn't know when he'd be back. 

The End

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