Thomas' only dream was to be a computer nerd. The kind that sat in front of a screen for hours on end with one hand on his gaming computer with three monitors and the other fore-arm deep into a bag of Aldi nachos. The kind that lived in his mother's basement and only climbed the stairs on special occasions. The kind that had his sweatpants specially tailored by Jacamo and cried when the internet was down.

Unfortunately, it seemed that Thomas just wasn't cut out for this kind of life. For starters, he didn't have enough money for a gaming computer - let alone any games. He had to satisfy his gaming itch by playing on one of the lesser gaming consoles. His mother's home had no basement, and he was forced to seek employment as he saved up to buy her one. His job as a computer technician would only buy him so many nachos, and try as he might to grow morbidly obese, his body remained toned and muscular. Thomas had been working as an underwear model on the weekends just to make ends meet.

The worst thing was the women. Women lined up outside his home with flowers and chocolates every Friday night, begging him to take them out. The cinema, the pub, the local alleyway - anywhere. But Thomas could not be swayed. No, he'd tell them firmly, I must stay in and grow fat while gaming excessively. Thomas had become something of a local celebrity, and this irritated him to no end. Thanks to him, actors such as Brad Pitt and David Beckham had purchased all of the nachos and video games that they could get their hands on, and had rarely been seen outside since. 

Thomas was sick to death of life. He was sick of the scantily-clad women (and men) outside of his door begging for his attention. He was sick of the media attention and he was sick of being a part-time underwear model. His attempts at being a computer technician were failing miserably, as simply no one would call him in to fix their computer. Instead, they offered him movie roles, sponsorship deals or his greatest sexual desires. Would it really be the end of the world if someone were to call Thomas and ask him to fix their computer?

The answer, regrettably, is yes.


The End

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