Lucia. My dear Lucia.
That week after she found out was beautiful. I was constantly hounding her, she could make no prayers to her heavenly "Father". She was texting Tavie all the time, saying what she thought she should say. She was a hindrance to my work with Tavie. She was playing this perfect game wayyyyy to well. I must shut her up. I must make her voice of no worth to Tavie.
One particular night, I just wouldn't leave her alone. I couldn't actually. She had become sort of an addiction for me. Tonight I just kept after her to be perfect, for her family and friends. Unloved. Nobody cares. What's the point of life. All that stuff.
She had been watching a movie, then ran into her bathroom. Tears poured down her face as she slid against the wall, gradually falling to the floor. She scratched a bit, but the pain was to dull to help it. I stroked her hair as I whispered into her ear. Your gonna have to try something else darling. This isn't working for you anymore.
She glanced up to her shower, where she knew there was a razor. She shakily stood up and reached out to grab it, but hesitated. What's the point in resisting? You know you'll end up doing it. She sighed and grasped it in her hand then sat back down. She looked at it for a minute, then shifted her gaze to her arm.
The pain is to much. Nobody would even care anyway.
That's right stupid. I'm surprised it took you this long. She lifted the blade to her arm, then just sat there.
Maybe if I just sit here, and hold it against my skin, it will be enough. But no, nothing is ever enough.
That's right darling. Nothing is never enough. Never will be either. So get it over with. Darling you know the truth! And the truth is your so stupid, unloved, nobody even car----
She was getting worked up now, she pulled her hand back ready for the pain to be relieved.
Yes my lovely. You know the truth.
But what about Tavie? What will she think of me when if I tell her?
Don't think about Tavie! No! NO! She still held the blade in one hand as she reached down for her phone. She started texting with one hand telling Tavie about her scratching problem. Oh well. It was about to become an even bigger problem. She hesitated to send it. Lucia. Don't. She will never like you again. You will lose your only friend.
You fool! Sit back and wait. Cut if you like! She'll hate you! All she did was sat back and waited, the tears pouring down her face. Fool.