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Decaying slowly within

It's quiet in here. Blissfully quiet.
I know that any minute, the voices will start up again.
The other voices, that is.
But let's not waste time thinking about that.
Let's use this time wisely to sort myself out.
Yeah let's do it.
...
Yeah time to sort it out.
...
Come on...
...focus...
Yes.
Time is so short.
...I know, that's why we need to focus.
Focus.
Stop saying focus and actually do it. What am I focusing on?
Sorting myself out.
Right, what's wrong?
Need to sort out a job.
Good, this is focusing. What kind of job?
focus
err.. I want
focus
I want to write
focus focus focus
Come on, concentrate!
focus focus
stop
focusfocusfocus
stop
focus
right
focusfocus
NOW!
...
Thank you. I remember when my mind was serene and controllable instead of this fuzzy mess of interference.
That's because we're dying.
I'm not dying.
But you want to die.
What has that got to do with anything.
If only something would happen to kill us painlessly.
Look...
Or even with a bit of pain.
Will you stop?
You'd rather be dead than live with this disease...
Disease? be dramatic why don't you?
...of falling fatally for everyone who shows the slightest bit of affection.
You know as well as I do that i've tried to fight it.
But you can't. We're born to feel the cold jaws of heartache.
It's better to have loved and lost and never loved at all than loved and not be loved back.
Exactly, you big emo. Death doesn't sound so bad really does it?
Death wouldn't bring happiness...
But it would end the sadness.
Jesus, we are emo, aren't we?

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