Last night had been wonderful. Chad and Christine had worked together to find some lawyers for her to call, and had also found a few possibilities for cars for her to buy. They communicated well and by the end of an hour's time, they accomplished quite a bit, and both were satisfied with the progress. As she closed up her computer, Chad asked if he could go get some blankets from the closet in her room. She looked at him.
"Why do you not come sleep in the bed with me?"
"I just was not sure if you would really be okay with that."
"Chad- I am your fiance. We are going to be married next year. It is not like we are virgins or something. I would like to be comforted in your arms. I would like to know that when we are married and living together, that we will be comfortable and compatible in bed. You keep your distance from me, but you do not have to. I am a young woman and I have hormones and desires, too... It is not just sex, though, Chad.
"Look, It is like I am bored. I kinda of feel like my youth has been cheated. I know that you value my responsible, mature side, and I am very happy to become part of your family and have a stable future with you. But, I need to know that I am still young and I want to have some fun. With you, everything is serious and we focus so much on doing the right things at the right times. What about being spontaneous and going out dancing and things like that? Is that not what we are supposed to be doing at this age?" She was very earnest, but she was not upset or even loud. These were questions that Chad knew she really expected answers to. He looked her in the eyes and took her hands.
"Christine, I made a mistake when I was younger, and I learned to be cautious. Having fun is not the answer to life. A lot of times what we think is fun becomes the things that ruin our lives. And physical desire- I think that we should have something special on our honeymoon. That is when I want to experience the true beauty of sex. I know we have both been there befoe, and we have been there together. But I want to show you how much I value you by letting you have time to yourself. Once we are married, it is just us forever."
"But Chad, we are engaged. We are promissed to each other. When you proposed to me, that was sealing the deal. I accepted you for marriage and as far as I am concerned, there are just as many reasons for me to stay true to you now as there will be when that contract is officially signed. The wedding is going to be beautiful enough. I do not need some special, under-experienced sexual moment to add on to it. What I do need is someone right now to show me affection. Someone that I can come home to at night, whom I know will keep me warm and safe. But... I also want to know that this is not it. Where do I go it I can not handle life? What do I do if we get into a fight?
"Do you realize, that as time has gone by wiith us together, that I have no friends? I do not have a social life, I do not have any girlfriends that I can call up and chat with or ask advice from. You are my strong advisor and protector, but you are also my future husband and there are times when I need to talk about you, not to you. How can I meet other people, guys or girls, if we never go anywhere or do anything?"
"Christine, I have never had any intention to take you away from firneds or keep you locked away or something." He was obviously offended, thinking that she was blaming him for these things. "Of course you should have others to talk to. and, you should have some fun, too. It is just that going out and being with people who are drinking and gossiping... it is just that they can have negative effects and I do not what you to have to be dissapointed when people bring their drama out and get angry or violent, or even just hurtful!"
"Chad, I am not sixteen years old. I was a teenager and I was a high schooler, and I was even a college freshman before I met you. I have known about people's petty selfishness and drama and all the like. If you keep sheltering me, what happens if I lose you? Then I have nothing, no basis to hold onto, no one to trust. I will have such a strong cornerstone in my life dissapear and I will fall. I mena, look at me now? What got me to this place? What is it that I was so dissatisfied with that I wrecked my car and almost killed someone else? Chad, there is something wrong and I need to fix it."
He looked at her, puzzled, and she realized that she had never talked to him about how the crash was caused. He did not ask about it, but suddenly looked wary. It was after eleven, and he like to leave the house at seven thirty to get her to work on time. He looked at the door, then got up and checked the lock, aslo turning off some of the lights.
"Would you like for me to go ahead and stay here in the living room tonight?"
"humph No! I want you to come to bed with me and hold me. Right now I really need to know that you and I can get through this and be okay. Is that not what you want?"
"Yes, actually that is exactly what I want." They stood there, in the semi darkness looking at each other.
"i am gonna go wash up." Chrisitne said, and went through the bedroom into the bathroom, leaving him to figure out the next move.