The caveman had disappeared around a corner. I sighed and stopped for a moment, leaning against the rock to catch my breath. We hadn't been walking for that long but the sun was beating down on me. I needed water soon.
There was a huge flash of light from the other side of the rock. I pushed myself up and was about to find out what the hell was going on when two arms caught me.
"Boiling here, isn't it?" the Doctor grinned a crazy smile at me. My face screwed itself up in desperation.
The caveman returned from around the corner, surveying us both. The Doctor pulled his jacket off and slung it over his shoulder. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be rescuing me!"
His eyes met mine. "What do you think I'm doing?"
My anger dissipated in an instant. He still annoyed me but at least he was helping me out of a difficult situation. "So what do we do now?"
We lingered on the spot, our prehistoric friend examining the fabric of the Doctor's jacket. I felt my lips start to crack slightly. He nodded slowly. I gestured for him to carry on. "Oh, were you waiting for an answer?"
It took me a moment to take it all in. He had nothing. This stupid man had nothing. He scratched under his braces before looking at me. I sighed and was ready to slap him when he looked at the caveman and grunted. They looked at each other, both in shock. They then engaged in some form of conversation that I couldn't follow. "Would someone care to explain this whole thing to me?" They broke apart and glared at me. I frowned slightly, feeling bad for not being able to understand.
The Doctor stepped over to me. "This fine gentleman has been explaining all of the rifts in his society of late. I'm sure it'd make a great book, send shock waves through so many Victorian critics." I was scowling at him, wishing he would get to the point. "Ok, I get you. Faster evolution than expected. Scary beasts all over the land. You and him are married. Someone messing with time."
I paused again. "Pardon?"
"I know, people messing with time is a very scary prospect. Who knows what sort of damage they could do to the established course of history!" I turned from him to the caveman.
"Married?" I asked in a yell. He looked at me and reacted to the loudness of my voice rather than what I said. "Since when?"
The Doctor nudged in. I only saw his head poke into my field of vision. "He took you as his own when he rescued you from the harsh judgement of his tribe. It's all very romantic, if you want to look at it like that." I leaned in to slap him but he ducked and I missed. "So, I have a job I need to do before people die. I'd be very grateful if you would offer your assistance." He grunted and the two men wandered off.
I sprinted to catch up with them. "How do you know what he is saying?"
"I spent a half a decade trapped here back when I was young. Younger. They respected my white hair and older face." I didn't quite understand what he was on about. "Learnt the lingo. I speak most of the ancient languages fluently. Can't be bothered with some of the more modern ones. Maybe another day." He span on the spot, rolling his eyes at me. "Such a nightmare. You try getting your head around the intricacies of New German grammar when you're trying to escape a team of assassins and keep tripping over your scarf." He span again, rolling his eyes for twice as long.
We turned a corner and faced the giant cave with the two huge red eyes. The caveman cowered a little behind the Doctor. I laughed to myself and went closer. "So what is it?"
"Couldn't tell you. Some sort of freak of evolution I suppose. Shall we find out?" I wanted to tell him about the box in the other cave but he was already crashing across the plain. I looked at the man who thought I was his wife and shook my head. I pointed at myself, then at him and shook my head. He looked down in shame. Part of me wanted to kiss him on the cheek but it wasn't the time or the place so I rushed after the Doctor.
As we got closer, I became more and more certain that the two eyes were just bright lights used to scare off the locals. I was about to tell the Doctor my idea when he stopped. "There are aliens making me do this." He muttered under his breath. "There's something in that cave that they want and I have to get it for them or we die. If that thing is dangerous, we die. Not looking promising." He looked at me and smiled a devilish smile. If I wasn't so sure about those eyes, I'd have turned back and left him to get eaten. I nodded and we went on. "You're still happy risking your life?" I nodded and we went on. "I like you, Flo."
"Well we aren't getting married either." We shared a brief laugh before stopping near the mouth of the cave. "Moment of truth. You want to do the honours?"I turned to him but he was gone. He was kneeling down, searching for a large enough rock on the floor. I picked one up and offered it to him. He shook his head and grinned, grabbing my other hand.
"If I say run..." He said, looking into the darkness. I grabbed his hand harder. I knew what to do if this went horribly wrong. I hurled the stone into the cave, just above one of the eyes. We both took in a deep breath and waited for something to happen. I let a small smile grow on my face; exactly what I had expected.
We both heard a loud woosh behind us. We turned to see a group of aliens, all aiming cameras at us. The Doctor looked to me in surprise. The tallest, a pink-skinned creature with glowing yellow eyes, was looking beyond us. "That's the million credit shot!"
We turned back to see a giant silver head sneaking out of the cave. To begin with I thought it was a snake but it was more like a turtle with the giant mountain above it it's shell. The ground shook as it growled, opening it's loud mouth, ready to eat us up as the aliens with cameras watched on.