Not a Monster or a Dream

She shook her head. "No. Shan't." She spoke, touching his cheek, just under his eyes. "Although, if it will upset you. I shall. For now." She saw the tears fighting their way behind his eyes. "I don't want to see you upset."

"Sorry." He closed his eyes against the memory that was bringing the tears to his eyes and sighed.

"Don't be." She kissed his cheek, trying to banish the thoughts. "I know what you're feeling. You are no monster."

"No monster? You have no idea." He muttered quietly. His eyes still closed.

She sighed, then took her arms from his waist. She got up and used Lazarus as a balance to stand in front of him, her hands on his shoulders. "Lazarus. Open your eyes." He reluctantly opened them and gazed into her emerald orbs.

She placed her hands on his cheeks and gazed into his pale, winter blue eyes. "Lazarus." She spoke softly, "you are no monster. I have seen monster's. A whole village slaughtered, my own mother killed before my eyes. Then..." She shook her head and persisted. "Then the same monster turned me into this. Lazarus, he is the monster. You are. No. Monster."

"No monster... Melissa." He took her hands from his face and looked away ashamed. "D'you want to know how Gabriel died?" He coughed, trying to cover his sob. "It was me, okay? I did it. Full moon." Then he swore violently.

Melissa stumbled then managed to grab Lazarus before she fell, still not being able to stand on her own. She placed her hands on his shoulders, steadying herself. Then she used one hand to gently push his face toward her. "Lazarus. In here," she placed a hand on his chest again, then kissed his forehead. "You are no Monster. You cannot be so shallow as to curse yourself upon what is on the outside. Please. Listen." She paused, taking in a deep breath. "At full moon you are no longer Lazarus, you cannot blame yourself for that. But within your heart and your head, you shall always remember yourself. You can control the beast if you so wish to!" She looked away for a moment then looked back at him.

He shook his head, not taking in her words. "I have a full memory of every full moon in the last four hundred years, including the one that I was turned into this. Monster. " He added emphasis on the word 'monster' and didn't care how much it annoyed Melissa, "and the one that Gabriel got in my way. If I can possess a clear memory of something like that, how can you tell me that I am not myself?"

"Lazarus... Please." She sat down on the bed and looked at him. Turning his head so that he faced her, she sighed. "Silence, please. I won't listen to your pessimistic ramblings any longer!" She leaned closer to him, looking into his eyes for only a moment she kissed him. Her cold lips gliding with his. It lasted only a single second before she withdrew. "Why won't you listen to me?"

"I..." his lips were cooled by hers and it left a strange sensation. "I just... How would you react, if our positions were reversed? Would you just take it, accept it? After so many years alone blaming yourself?"

"I would at least try!" She cried, seeing that she had failed in her attempt to sway him.

He focused on her properly now, hearing the hint of despair in her voice. "Sorry..." He whispered, unable to meet her eyes.

She didn't bother to turn him round instead she just whispered. "Its okay. I just don't see why you keep living in the past." She stopped, giving him a proposition. "Tell me, would you rather stay in the past and wallow all day and night, or come to the present and stay with me?"

He turned to look at her. "Because Gabriel was the only thing that ever mattered to me, it's been that way for... centuries. The change doesn't feel real, I feel like I'm dreaming. I have a recurring dream," he paused hating himself for being so ridiculous, hating having to say the words he was saying, "I'm falling. Always falling. Ever since I was turned. Nothing to hold onto, only Gabriel to wake me when he could sneak into my room while no one was around to frown down upon our familiarity." He swallowed uncomfortably, forcing himself to continue. "I want to come to the present, but life became a routine of night shift jobs and alcohol. Routines that old are hard to break." He paused again, "I would just wake up from that dream alone, I'm just worried I'll wake up from this one alone too."

Melissa looked at him. "I can only try Lazarus. Tell me. What can I do to you to prove you are not dreaming and that I am here beside you to wake you whenever you dream you are falling?" She looked at him. Her voice sure. "Whenever you fall, I will catch you."

"I don't know how you can prove it. I... hope you can." He laughs weakly and hugs Melissa tightly. "I've been so lonely, and I've let myself go too much, I'm sorry. I hope you can live with the damaged goods, at least till I can fix myself up enough to deserve this... Thank you."

Melissa smiled. "You deserve this now. You're not damaged goods and you're more than welcome." She hugged him back, wrapping her arms around his neck as if she would never let go. To be honest, she wasn't sure she would.

The End

15 comments about this story Feed