I rummage through my book bag and impatiently decide to dump to contents on my bedroom floor, half a pack of cigarettes, a couple tampons, some clothes from when we had to stop overnight at the motel on the way down here, my mother's purple glass bead rosary and my composition book journal all tumble out.
I know it's unconventional or maybe blasphemous to wear a rosary around your neck, but since I won't be praying on it anytime soon it's the only way to feel my mother's presence, I breathe in her essence; a Faith Hill fragrance that still lingers on some of her items, or maybe I'm just imagining it.
I laugh bitterly at the thought of my mother becoming a beach bunny, her hands had callouses from barn work, and her hair was constantly thrown up in a messy pony tail. Even in her muck boots she was beautiful, but the thought of mom lounging around in this neighborhood with the gold digger wives in a neon bikini was hilarious. She was the real deal her beauty wasn't cookie cutter but natural, and she had far more class than money could buy.
I peer out my window to make sure the creeper neighbor boy isn't spying on me again and once I see he's not I change into my bathing suit. It's a modest navy blue one piece that screams farm girl. I'm still far from California bronze but I have a slight tan from working on the farm and riding Bruiser. Bruiser was my old Morgan horse. He was sold along with the farm. I'm still trying to let go of that grudge against my father, it's going to take some time.
I check my phone the sympathy texts have all died down. Yesterday, I texted my best friend Megan to let her know I got here safely, all I got in return was a smiley text.
I walk down the hall and knock on Noah's bedroom door. His music is turned way up. "Go away." He says. I take that as my Que to barge in. It smells like marijuana.
"Are you smoking pot?"
"No of course not." He croaks, with a grin.
-"Mom would kill you for that!"
"Mom's dead." He says bluntly, staring intently at a guns and roses poster, "Is that crooked?" He asks.
I storm out of his bedroom slamming the bedroom door behind me. Since Dad is at a business meeting with Jerry, who moved here a couple months before we did, and convinced Dad this was the place to be and Noah is being a jerk, I decide to check out the pool solo.
I climb down the wide marble steps into the pool and take in the lush sound of the fountain recycling the water. Until I'm drawn into a trance. I hear familiar laughter in the distance.
"Mom!" I cry out.
"On three." She begins to count down, I search frantically for her. There is nobody around. I hear a splash. So I dive under water and swim towards the deep end, where I heard the splash. I hear her laughter again , only it's fades until it's completely gone. I don't move even though I know I should come up from air. I'm compelled to stay under until..
I feel arms around me and that's when I black out.